20 Recommendations

A lot of you have probably already read most of the blog posts listed below. But if not, they are some of my favorites.

1. Carly's acs-and-abbrevs

2. Chantico at Starbucks

3. Kacy's paul bettany hates me
immediately followed by :
3.a. just little more claptrap

4. Sheer Blonde shampoo, conditioner, and volumizing spray by John Frieda.

5. The Stunningly Handsome Nate Perkins' rudy can't fail

6. The Amazing Spider Fan's teriyaki stix more like teriyaki sux

7. Cameron's ups how i love you but you freaked me out this time

8. Christian's dead pioneer

9. Always crack your eggs in a bowl before pouring them into the batter of whatever you are making. My grandmother always told me to do this, but I did not heed her advice because I was too lazy to get out another dish and had never run across a rotten egg anyway...until last night, when I had to throw out all the batter for a boston creme pie with black/green runny, stinky rotten egg slush in it.

10. Mat6t's teacher who lost her way

11. Mat6t's how could this have happened

12. Don't go alone to the DSW at Bailey's Crossroads. I have never been there by myself without lurking creepy men making inappropriate comments to me.

13. The Alex Morrise's say it ain't so

14. Arrested Development

15. King of the Hill

16. Anna Karenina

17. Finding Neverland

18. Don't let ice/snow sit on your car overnight.

19. The Stunningly Handsome Nate Perkins' flying squid

20. Chicken Panang

Lady in Red

Yesterday my boss took a planner out of the garbage can in his office and asked me if I wanted it. I graciously accepted it since he acted like he was really sacrificing something big for me. Maybe he thinks I didn't watch him regift from the trash with my very own eyes.

In my new planner, I decided to write down a list of things I need to do. I'm constantly making lists and my new planner seems like the perfect place to do so. Last week, I was asking Roxy what I should wear to something and she told me I look good in certain colors. I grabbed my post-it pad and started making a list of the colors she said looked good on me, because frankly I'm always up for some good fashion advice. What's really interesting to me about that list is she didn't include red. The reason I say that is because since I was about 5 my grandmother always tries to get me to wear red. According to her, red is my color and unless I'm wearing red, I don't look my best. When I was at home for Christmas, I was talking to my mom and she mentioned that my grandmother had been telling her all her life that she looked so good in red, but she feels like her skin is too pink to wear red and thinks it looks terrible on her. I started thinking about how my skin has pink undertones too and maybe red looks bad on me as well. My grandmother, obviously obsessed with red, has spent all this time sabotaging us. Oh well, thanks to Roxy I can now make correct wardrobe choices.

Anyway, I started making a list of things I need to do and groceries I need to buy, when I realized I was constantly making a mental list of possible blog topics. So in honor of my lists, I now give you a list of supporting evidence that I am obsessed with blogging:

1. I am always ranking everything in my mind for possible blogging lists.
2. I have had dreams about people in my circle of blog friends that I have never met, including one that took place in the future and all of our blogs were being used for examples in a course called "Blogging 101." And last night I dreamt I went to a restaurant and had to log in at the hostess stand.
3. A co-worker just came in to ask me advice about blogging and had questions about the "blogosphere."
4. I was recently told that I was born to blog, probably because I talk about it too much.
5. I constantly have these thoughts: "Could I blog about this?" "Too bad I already talked about this in a blog." "What will I blog about today/tomorrow,etc?"
6. My friend Emily said she has been reading my blog but never comments. I told her to please comment even if it is not a good comment because what I really want to see are high comment numbers and that it's all about quantity for me.

And to think I didn't want to start a blog in the first place!

What the?

Yesterday, we mistakenly received “Woman’s Day” in the mail at my office. I was just glancing through it when I discovered this ad for a collectible doll: “God Bless You, Little Grace.” It has to be one of the creepiest things I have ever seen. The creator of this doll is probably in cahoots with Anne Geddes.

Who would buy this? Why? It is $130?

I wish you could see the glossy magazine ad I have in my hand. It is much more lifelike and creepy than the webpage is. Wow. I am stunned and upset.

I have a crush on Keanu Reeves

Even after reading about him on IMDB.com.

I agree with everything they say on that website about his “deadpan delivery style and reputation as an oaf,” but that doesn’t stop me. I also got a good laugh out of some of his quotes, one in which he calls himself dumb. I won’t argue with that especially after reading:

"What would happen if you melted? You know, you never really hear this talked about much, but spontaneous combustion? It exists!...[people] burn from within...sometimes they'll be in a wooden chair and the chair won't burn, but there'll be nothing left of the person. Except sometimes his teeth. Or the heart. No one speaks about this, but it’s for real."

[On drugs] “I've had wonderful experiences. I mean really wonderful. In teaching. Personal epiphanies. About life. About a different perspective -- help with different perspectives that you have. You know what I mean? Relationships to nature. Relationships with the self. With other people. With events.”

His bio also mentions that he “Frequently plays man either strapped or sitting in a chair while some type of procedure is performed on him. All three Matrixs, Johnny Mnemonic, Feeling Minnesota, Dracula, Constantine.”

Fascinating. What would I do without IMDB.com? Be disillusioned about Keanu, I guess.

Honestly, I have barely seen any of his movies and I’m trying hard to think of one I’ve seen that I really liked. Who saw Sweet November? I did. I didn’t like it, but I bet I have watched it on TBS like 8 times.

Well, I thought this would be a fun post since I removed my original “Celebrity Attraction Ratings” I posted back in October. I was a beginner blogger then and I didn’t really think that post through. It wasn’t a v. good post and I was getting attacked left and right for answers I couldn’t really stand behind. So I quickly deleted it, because my sensitive blog heart couldn’t take the comment criticisms. But hey, feel free to say what you want about Keanu. I’ll probably agree, but I still give him a 10 on my Celebrity Attraction Ratings.

PS: I would like to say in Keanu's defense, that once I read a touching article about his sister who had cancer, how much it devastated him and how he wouldn't leave her bedside in the hospital.

FYI: Salma Hayek Already Has a Rolex, Too, Amputee

My friend Carrie in NV just called so she could put the phone up to the speaker because "Turn the Beat Around" was on the radio. She knows that Shotzy always gives me a hard time by saying that I only pretend to hate Gloria Estefan when really I know ALL the words to her songs.

This weekend I made my first cake with my new cake decorating kit and took it to a friend's birthday party. A nice chap there may or may not have been enamored of Shotzy. He complimented the cake briefly, but then spent the rest of the time praising Shotzy (to her and others) for being such a wonderful gift giver (having given me the cake decorating kit), all while rubbing her arm and complimenting her jacket.

Last night while glancing through old entries in my journal, I came upon an entry from a long time ago in which I had compared a couple to the song "Uptown Girl." It was obviously very serious to me and I used a lot of lines from the song such as: "and all the presents from her uptown boys," "now she's looking for a downtown man," etc. Then I went into a paragraph explaining how I viewed myself in terms of an uptown vs. a downtown girl.

I also had some old emails printed out from college stuck in the back...some of my favorite college emails were from Shotzy. She said such things as "I'm just sitting here with a plate of cheese on my belly." And there was one that included the lyrics to a song she had written called "I hate math."

There was also an email from Carly stating she hated Nicole Kidman and loved Tom Hanks. Both of which she has recently contradicted.

I mentioned earlier that I received a kissing kit containing lip gloss and love mints as well as a Jimmie Johnson calendar for Christmas. Upon my return to work, Camelio and Roxy came online and I thanked them for these gifts. To Camelio I said, "Thanks for the kissing gift," and to Roxy, "I'm just sitting here telling Ed (my NASCAR-loving co-worker) about the GREAT Christmas present you gave me." Just last week, I found out I was mistaken and had reversed the gifts. I thought Camelio had given me the kissing kit, but she had really given me the calendar and vice versa for Roxy. Roxy must have thought it was weird that I was mentioning to my co-worker that I received a kissing kit for Christmas and apparently Camelio thought I was kissing my Jimmie Johnson calendar. And I'm not saying I don't. But still. It was funny.

Name This Song

Well, it's the 17th of the month again.. Name that Song day. So you know the rules, email me (see my profile page) with your answer and the winner will get a prize.

"Every dog must have his every day. Every drunk must have his drink."

Okay, well I'm off to Richmond to the Confederate White House. I hope we'll have a winner when I get back.

Grandma's Pajamas

I come from a very generous family. And when I go home to visit, I seem to invoke a strong desire in them to give me things. For the past 8 years or so, whenever I go home, my mom tries to give me her make-up. This is totally unrelated to the "go put on some lipstick" comments I get from other family members. My mom just has a heart of gold.

For example, if I walk into her room and she is putting on her makeup and I compliment her eye shadow, she'll say, "Here take it." I insist that I don't want it, I was just complimenting her. To which she insists that she wants me to have it. It is rare that I will return from a trip home without something half-used from my mom's make-up.

Recently my mom has been redecorating the living room. She is really into HGTV, etc and before I went home for Christmas she kept saying things like, "Wait 'til you see my new picture over the couch" or "You're going to love the flowers on the table by the door," etc. So of course, when I got home I ranted and raved over how great everything looked, complimenting all the new pieces she had acquired. At which point, she started trying to give them all to me.

While at my grandmother's house, she asked me what I had gotten for Christmas from my Dad's family. In passing I mentioned I had received some pajamas. She said, "pajamas?" as if it were the strangest thing she'd ever heard. I mentioned that when my dad had asked what I wanted I said pajamas...just some long sleeve cotton ones because sometimes my flannel ones are just too hot. She IMMEDIATELY ran back to her room and said "Well, I have some pajamas you can have." I thanked her and took them home. When I pulled them out of my suitcase, they reeked of "Woman" perfume, which is about a 1/2 step down from the Imposters line of fragrances, if you ask me.

Of course, I threw them into the laundry and last night I decided just to try them out. Why not? I'm sure she is going to ask me if I have worn them soon...She likes to follow up over and over about things. I am going to tell her I wore them while watching "Brigham City." That would seriously make her day.

Anyway, when she gave them to me she told me she had gotten them for herself but the arms were just a little tight and pulled on her so they weren't comfortable. So last night I put on these 100% polyester grandma pajamas and inspected myself. I wish I had taken a pic in the mirror like Kaycee did. I couldn't help but laugh as I slipped on the navy blue pants, which didn't even match the shirt, only to find that she had hemmed them. My grandmother is 6" shorter than me and so I'm sure you can imagine how great these pants looked. Then I went in to brush my teeth and as I went to open the medicine cabinet, I noticed that the seam down the underside of the arm of the shirt looked weird. I was thinking, "Gosh, where did she buy these? Did she make them herself?" Then I remembered her telling me that the sleeves had been too tight on her and so apparently she had let the sleeves out, leaving the extra fabric sewn on the outside of the garment.

I was a sight as I crawled into bed in my too-short, huge-sleeved, flowered, polyester Grandma pajamas last night. But I couldn't ask for a nicer family.

Belated Gratitude Journal: What I Got For Christmas

These are all the gifts I received from family, friends & co-workers:

1. soft red bathrobe. (resulted in conversation about me not having on enough lipstick).
2. bracelet from grandmother.
3. a vase
4. $45
5. Hot pink, and I do mean HOT pink zip-up, hoodie fleece from the GAP.
6. some long dangly earrings with horseshoes on the end (resulted in conversation about the length of my hair).
7. more earrings and a zebra bracelet.
8. "Scene It" DVD Game.
9. Tilting Cake Turntable.
10. light blue pj's with snowflakes on them.
11. light pink quilted jacket.
12. Simon gift card with which I purchased some winter white pants and a teal sweater at Ann Taylor.
13. a mirror.
14. cake pans & a cooling rack.
15. blue & white scarf with matching gloves.
16. cake decorating kit.
17. checkerboard cake pan.
18. photo album.
19. Jimmie Johnson calendar.
20. Kissing kit containing: Kiss Me lip gloss by Philosophy & Love mints.
21. teal and green brooch.
22. Angel of Learning ornament.
22. pink sweater with matching brooch.
23. A poinsettia.
24. A movie ticket.
25. Lots of candy.

Wow. That is a lot of stuff. I probably didn't need to give myself:
1. red shoes
2. red sweater
3. jeans
4. pink & white shirt from BR that I thought would be SO cute under a denim jacket...oh wait, I don't have a denim jacket.
5. capris at BR that I got down from the sale price of $29.95 to $9.95.

It's My Turn.

Per Carly's Blog Request, Here you go:

3 names you go by:

1. Marcy
2. Baby (by my real mother and my friend Roxy--I call her Momma)
3. Tramp (also by my mom--real one)

3 screen names you have:

1. Catherine Zeta Jones
2. hulloouu
3. mgp2

3 things you like about yourself:

1. I like my teeth (no cavities).
2. I like whatever it is that helps me get such great friends.
3. I have common sense.

3 things you hate/dislike about yourself:

1. This one crazy eyelash on my left eye.
2. cankles.
3. My low blog self-esteem. (ditto Carly).

3 parts of your heritage:

1. John Wayne
2. Boiled Custard
3. Jungle Fever

3 things that scare you:

1. Snakes
2. Arguing
3. no blog comments

3 of your everyday essentials:

1. 8 hours of sleep.
2. Something delicious to eat.
3. checking blogs.

3 things you’re wearing right now:

1. Punk'd t-shirt
2. Lounge pants Carly's mom gave me 5 years ago.
3. Probably chocolate on my face since I woke up and found 2 Lindt truffle wrappers in bed with me.

3 of your favorite bands/artists (today):

1. Alan Jackson
2. Weezer
3. Counting Crows

3 of your favorite songs at present:

1. That one by the Killers that I asked about in a recent post.
2. Laura Non C'e by Nek.
3. Say You Say Me by Lionel Ritchie.

3 new things you want to try in the next 12 months:

1. Cake Decorating.
2. Family History.
3. A new mattress.

3 things you want in a relationship (love is a given):

1. No arguments. If there's a problem, leave a note.
2. To be pursued.
3. Paddleboating in the tidal basin.

2 truths and a lie:

1. I own a book called "The Bombshell Manual of Style"
2. Carly and I have a dance routine to "Brass in Pocket" that must be performed with a feather boa.
3. I collect penguins.

3 physical things about a love interest that appeal:

1. Larger than me, across and up.
2. Heads. This includes face and hair. Or no hair which I can also find appealing.
3. Voice

3 things you just can’t do:

1. Watch full-length animated movies without a nap in the middle.
2. Remember all the Presidents of the United States in order.
3. Watch "Extreme Home Makeover" without shedding a tear.

3 of your favorite hobbies:

1. Movies
2. Reading
3. Blogging

3 things you want to do really badly right now:

1. Chase my brother with a button.
2. Eat breakfast.
3. Watch Napoleon Dynamite.

3 careers you’re considering:

1. Jeopardy! Clues Crew. Seriously.
2. Letter turner on "Wheel of Fortune." Vanna's days have to be winding down.
3. Farmer. Living off the land appeals to me, as does owning a truck.

3 places you want to go on vacation:

1. Italy
2. Fiji
3. Rock City

3 kids names (either boy or girl):
1. Peter
2. Jack
3. David

3 things you want to do before you die:

1. Go paddleboating in the Tidal Basin.
2. Fish.
3. Meet Keanu Reeves

3 People who should take this quiz right now:

This would be easy except the peeps I want to ask don't blog and everyone I know who blogs has already taken it, or has been ordered to take it.
So Schatze, Roxy & Camelio....would you do so in my comment section?

"Sarah Jessica Parker Already Has a Rolex! Need Yours? Amputee"

This is the subject line of a spam e-mail I got today...where do they come up with this stuff?

When I was thirteen years old, I had my first "boyfriend." His name was Tony and I was at least a head taller than him. Tony sat in front of me in Math and Science, and we were always cutting up and getting in trouble for talking and laughing. Then one day I got a note asking me if I would "go" with him. I answered yes and there I was in my first relationship.

After the note, though, things got a little weird between me and Tony. Everyone knew we were going together, but did everyone else know that this actually meant nothing? We didn't talk much in class anymore. We didn't sit together in lunch. We didn't talk on the phone. But this was exactly the way I liked it, after all I WAS thirteen.

During my 6 months as Tony's girlfriend, our boyfriend/girlfriend activities consisted of slowdancing twice at a friend's birthday party, sitting by each other at a school pizza party, and finally climaxing on Valentine's Day when Tony gave me a Garfield Valentine card and a stuffed white dog that actually looked like a demonic red-eyed rabbit creature with a red ribbon that said "I Love You" around its neck.

Shortly after that, I decided I wanted to break up with Tony. At the end of the day when we were leaving school, my friend Stephanie stood at the front door of the school and announced the numbers or names over the intercom that allowed us to leave when our parents arrived to pick us up. I gave her a note to give to Tony as he left the building that afternoon that said "Tony, I think we should just be friends. Marcy"

Stephanie informed me that she had given him the note and I knew that we were then broken up. I felt relieved and things went on as they had before...laughing and talking in Science and Math.

Then a couple months later, I went to my locker at the end of the day and there was a note taped inside that read, "Marcy, I think we should just be friends. Tony."

To this day, I am still not sure what happened with our breakup and if he is still going around thinking he dumped me. I saw his dad over Christmas at the grocery store. Maybe I should have given him a message to pass along, "You tell Tony I broke up with him first!"

More About Food

Is anyone getting annoyed by my series of short blogs giving you a blow by blow of my day? I would be.

Well, "what did I get for lunch?" you ask. Perhaps you would guess a steak, a coke and some chocolate cake. You would be wrong.

I would have liked that, however a steak lunch seemed a little excessive. Or maybe I am just inappropriately dressed to go in anywhere I could get a steak (Tad's in Time Square I need you now). I hit snooze for an hour this morning which resulted in my mis-matched comfortable work appearance today. I would actually consider sleeping in what I am wearing right now, with the exception of the jeans.

Anyhow, I felt in the mood for a hearty meal. I know that the recent Holidays are a time of eating and eating and more eating, but frankly I didn't eat all that much, it is 1:40pm and I haven't had a morsel of food since 3pm yesterday, and I have not yet made my New Years Resolutions prohibiting poor food choices. So I decided to indulge myself in some Safeway Chicken Tenders. Plus they make a decent macaroni and cheese.

As strange as it sounds, chicken tenders from the Safeway Grocery Store deli are MMMMMMMMMazing. They are spicy to just the right degree and delicious with the Naturally Fresh brand of honey mustard which I happily pay 50 cents for over the free honey mustard packets they will give you at the counter. Once I thought I would be a smart shopper and just buy a jar of the NF honey mustard and keep it in the fridge at work, but it was not even close to the taste of these little cups of it.

So I walked down to Safeway excited for my Chicken Tenders and Mac & Cheese. As I came down the sidewalk I peeked in the grocery store window to make sure they had the NF Honey Mustard cups like I always do before I waste my time actually going inside the store to look. They had just been stocked and I rushed in where I found NO chicken tenders. I mean they didn't even have any of the deli containers of them I could microwave. Only zing ding wings, and come on, I do have standards.

I immediately exited Safeway not knowing where I was going to get my hearty meal. I somehow ended up in Quizno's where I ordered a philly cheesesteak, no onions. The thing is, if I am going to eat this rottenly unhealthy meal I really should have walked the 5 blocks to Jerry's Pizza and Subs where I could actually get a GOOD cheesesteak instead of this one that has a ridiculous amount of diluted herb mayonnaise disguised as white cheddar cheese sauce. Also they didn't have cheese puffs or cool ranch doritos. They did have cheetos, which I always like more than I think I do, but they are definitely not in the same league as cheese puffs. So I opted for the nacho cheese Doritos. Armed with my cheesesteak, chips and drink, I realized I could at least get a cookie. But they were out of the Chocolate Chocolate Chip I love so I got a peanut butter.

I just had an epiphany...Peanut Butter cookies with Chocolate Chips in them. YUM. I need to try this ASAP. I wonder why I have never thought of this before.

I love chocolate and peanut butter together, which brings me to Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. The little ones are good, but nothing beats the big ones that come in the 2-pack candy bar size. The ratio of peanut butter to chocolate is just right...But if you are looking for the perfect peanut butter cup, try Whitman's. I got some in my stocking and they were SO good. When we went to see National Treasure, my stepmom got a ziploc bag and was putting candy in it to take in her purse I added some from my stocking but selfishly poured all the Whitman's peanut butter cups in my coat pocket and only shared a few with my dad.

Moving on to another selfish move I made regarding peanut butter and chocolate over Christmas, I gave away what ended up being my favorite treat. The day before I left work for Christmas break, a client of ours sent us a giant box filled with Mrs. Fields goodies. We all got a sack and filled it and I took mine in the car for my road trip. I had all kinds of cookies, brownies and "krunch" treats. I didn't know what the krunch treats were but when I squeezed them slightly between my fingers they felt as hard as rocks. I thought they must be some sort of hard wafer topped with chocolate or like whatever that hard part of Butterfingers are....so I opted to give them away, eating the soft brownies and cookies whenever possible. As I handed my next to last krunch to my dad at a football game, he bit in and exclaimed, "Wow. this is so good. It's like a rice krispie treat with peanut butter and chocolate on the top." I resisted the urge to grab the remaining krunch half from him and savored the last one I still had in the sack in my car when the game was over.

What I Want Right Now

The first day back at work is not easy after a long break. Instead of doing all the work piled up on my desk, what would make me happy right now is:

1. a nap
2. a good movie
3. to catch up on all the blogs I am behind on since my computer access at home was limited.
4. our water heater explosion situation to resolve itself (I hope all of you who thought I was irrational about my fear of the furnace exploding feel guilty. I just had the wrong appliance.)
5. some chocolate
6. a coke
7. a steak


I think if I could get my hands on all of these right now I would be a happy camper. I really don't think it's that much to ask.

Well, maybe after a nap my blog creativity will be sparked. I have been having blog withdrawal so I hope these half-hearted posts will suffice until after I get the above 7 items.

Someone please tell me who sings the song that goes...

"Somebody told me
that you have a boyfriend
who looks like a girlfriend
that I had in February
of last year..."

This is not a contest, just curious.

10 Signs on the Interstate in Tennessee that got a Honk from Me

10. "See Rock City" I don't know what Rock City is, but there are about a million signs all over the state that tell you to see it.
9. "Cracker Barrel. Where Comfort Meets Food." Excellent. Just What I Like.
8. "Music Highway" (The signs that line the 240-mile stretch of I-40 between Memphis and Nashville.)
7. "Bristol Motor Speedway"
6. "Welcome to Metropolitan Nashville: Home of the Grand Ole Opry"
5. "Dollywood Next Exit"
4. "Loretta Lynn's Dude Ranch"
3. "Graceland. Love Me Tender."
2. "Exit 152: Bucksnort, TN"
1. "Jackson Next 5 Exits" (this means I'm home.)