Right now I'm shakin' my booty to KC and the Sunshine Band's "Shake Your Booty" while wearing this shirt. It's sort of like in The Hours when Virginia Woolf is writing Mrs. Dalloway, Laura is reading it and Clarissa is living it. Only I won't feel like I want to kill myself after I'm done.
So, Happy Halloween! I haven't really felt like it's Halloween yet because I have done nothing to make me think otherwise. Wearing my Halloween t-shirt I bought at Target last year has been the extent of it. I didn't carve a pumpkin. I didn't put spiderwebs on the front porch. I didn't put out my Halloween tablecloth or Frankenstein candleabra. I didn't go to the ward Halloween party where, last year, I bobbed for apples in a giant rubbermaid bin then walked around the rest of the night looking like a wet dog. I didn't drive for over an hour to the regional church barn dance which is always advertised as having a hayride but never does. I did see The Legend of Zorro which could qualify as scary. So maybe that counts.
Despite my less than festive weekend I did have a good time, with the exception of the time I spent crying over a box of chicken in the Popeye's parking lot. But we all have our moments, right?
I saw Elizabethtown and it was different, but I liked it. Actually, maybe I was just in a euphoric state from the popcorn I was eating. Now I am nowhere near the movie popcorn connossieur that Carly, who has gone into a theater, explained to the ticket taker that she is just there to get some popcorn, bought some and then left without ever seeing a movie, is. But I did finally live out our mutual dream since our discovery of the self service butter dispensers and that is: I took a separate bag so I could dump my popcorn into it, then pour it back into the real popcorn bag a little at a time while dispensing the butter allowing equal delicious distribution throughout. Sure I made a mess, but I have some ideas for how to do it better next time. And sure I got laughed at, but I think those peeps were just jealous of my ingenuity and yummy buttery popcorn.
What I will say about Elizabethtown is 1) it was odd but pleasing, 2) I really don't know what all the Orlando hype is about, and 3) it had great music including "Big Love" by Fleetwood Mac, which is one of my favorites and is, I think, far too unappreciated.
So after this weekend, my advice for you would be:
1. The Legend of Zorro: don't see it.
2. Elizabethtown: see it or don't. I don't really care. I liked it but can appreciate the fact that a lot of people probably wouldn't.
3. If sugar starts to smell like it's burning, even though it's not boiling and the recipe says wait until it boils, just go ahead and start over and don't keep adding ingredients you will eventually have to throw out.
4. If you need a snack during church, don't bring a whole green apple to chomp on.
5. Personal journals with juicy info: Don't bring them to stake conference, sit on the row in front of me, then place them on the empty chair directly in front of me where I might accidentally read something you don't want shared.
Monday, October 31, 2005
Monday, October 24, 2005
What You Want, Baby, I Got
In case you hadn't figured it out yet, I'm really cool. Peeps are always giving me props and shout-outs and respect and raisin' the roof and all that kind of stuff you do for cool peeps.
I hope you, too, will join the ranks of these folks who totally respect me:
The North Carolina Girls: Friday night I went to Katie Blue's for a little Cranium. This is how much my team respected me: they gave an answer that I MADE UP to a question about the name of a game. Both wanted to go with it even after I reminded them, "I made up that game. You do know that, right?" And this was not 5 minutes after we incorrectly answered a True/False question that I had adamantly convinced everyone I knew without a doubt.
Mike: Because I thought it was going to be Carly when he called me from her cell phone at the hospital and I answered the phone with a loud, pretty song: "How Ya Doooooiiiinnn'?"
My boss and everyone he had meetings with today: They each paused to stop and stare at my pink moccassins.
All the people in the Discovery Channel Store who saw me reading "Are You Smarter Than You Think You Are?"
Anyone at church yesterday who saw me: A) sleeping during Sacrament meeting B) Laughing with my eyes open during the closing prayer or C) Knocking down people to get to the refreshment table after the show and then stopping to scratch the bronze-painted-pumpkin vases to see if they were real.
5 boyz from the hood at the mall on Saturday: I think they must have respected me after they heard me respond with "Hey, Ho" to my mom's usual "Hey Tramp" greeting on the phone. Immediately after I said this to her, they came and sat at my table with me. One man on each side and 3 across from me. I ate the rest of my pizza in silence...I mean, let's face it, I couldn't really get up and move, now could I?
I hope you, too, will join the ranks of these folks who totally respect me:
The North Carolina Girls: Friday night I went to Katie Blue's for a little Cranium. This is how much my team respected me: they gave an answer that I MADE UP to a question about the name of a game. Both wanted to go with it even after I reminded them, "I made up that game. You do know that, right?" And this was not 5 minutes after we incorrectly answered a True/False question that I had adamantly convinced everyone I knew without a doubt.
Mike: Because I thought it was going to be Carly when he called me from her cell phone at the hospital and I answered the phone with a loud, pretty song: "How Ya Doooooiiiinnn'?"
My boss and everyone he had meetings with today: They each paused to stop and stare at my pink moccassins.
All the people in the Discovery Channel Store who saw me reading "Are You Smarter Than You Think You Are?"
Anyone at church yesterday who saw me: A) sleeping during Sacrament meeting B) Laughing with my eyes open during the closing prayer or C) Knocking down people to get to the refreshment table after the show and then stopping to scratch the bronze-painted-pumpkin vases to see if they were real.
5 boyz from the hood at the mall on Saturday: I think they must have respected me after they heard me respond with "Hey, Ho" to my mom's usual "Hey Tramp" greeting on the phone. Immediately after I said this to her, they came and sat at my table with me. One man on each side and 3 across from me. I ate the rest of my pizza in silence...I mean, let's face it, I couldn't really get up and move, now could I?
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Blogger Dad
Happy Birthday, Pops!
And though your view may be skewed,
here are 10 reasons you're one awesome dude:
10. you have a supercrack.
9. you were caught dancing in your undies while painting your bedroom this summer (pre-supercrack).
8. you painted the game room like a baseball field including one wall partially papered with baseball cards.
7. you have watched Independence Day and Armageddon more times than everyone else who has ever seen them combined.
6. you make a mean sausage gravy.
5. you are a great artist.
4. you painted your kitchen purple.
3. your main dream is to lounge in the pool while projecting movies onto the back of the house to watch (this is my main dream, too).
2. you must be stopped from putting controversial "hatin'" boxes in you blog sidebar.
1. you are the best dad evah.
And though your view may be skewed,
here are 10 reasons you're one awesome dude:
10. you have a supercrack.
9. you were caught dancing in your undies while painting your bedroom this summer (pre-supercrack).
8. you painted the game room like a baseball field including one wall partially papered with baseball cards.
7. you have watched Independence Day and Armageddon more times than everyone else who has ever seen them combined.
6. you make a mean sausage gravy.
5. you are a great artist.
4. you painted your kitchen purple.
3. your main dream is to lounge in the pool while projecting movies onto the back of the house to watch (this is my main dream, too).
2. you must be stopped from putting controversial "hatin'" boxes in you blog sidebar.
1. you are the best dad evah.
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
On My Blogiversary
Ode to My Blog
I'll love you 'til the end.
You taught me of obsession
and how to make a friend:
Just roam from blog to blog
and be a comment whore,
And soon there will be blog friends
knocking down your door.
Dear blog, I can't repay you
for all you've given me.
Please accept these simple words
from this girl from Tennessee.
You gave me a date with a stranger.
It didn't go too far,
But at least I got to ride
in Heidi's former car.
And then you gave me music
in the form of mp3s
from new blog friends and relatives
and one of Kelly Clarkson's new cds.
You brought out my obsession
with a thing called blogpatrol.
I had to stop my tracking spreadsheet
because I was getting out of control.
Recording IP addresses,
tallying times and cities and states...
This became unhealthy,
constantly checking for new updates.
You fired up former friendships
And brought me closer to Clete,
who turned me on to blogging
in her blog group of the elite.
There are so many names I could mention
of those for whom friendship I now feel,
but I'll just mention the best thing I got from you,
and that is definitely Neil.
So on my blogiversary
of my first year with you,
"How Am I Doin'?", you've given me so much,
I just hope you love me, too.
Monday, October 17, 2005
Name That Song
The Rules:
1. Please DO NOT guess in the comment section! E-mail me (see my profile page for my e-mail address).
2. Please do not look up the answer...I really send a prize, so be honest and fair.
3. Previous winners may still play.
4. Be the FIRST to e-mail me with the correct song title & artist and win.
Good Luck!
This month's lyric is:
"I came into this world as a reject
Look into these eyes
Then you'll see the size of the flames"
1. Please DO NOT guess in the comment section! E-mail me (see my profile page for my e-mail address).
2. Please do not look up the answer...I really send a prize, so be honest and fair.
3. Previous winners may still play.
4. Be the FIRST to e-mail me with the correct song title & artist and win.
Good Luck!
This month's lyric is:
"I came into this world as a reject
Look into these eyes
Then you'll see the size of the flames"
Monday, October 10, 2005
Clean Sweep
I had a traumatic Saturday. While doing my summer clothes/winter clothes closet switchout, I had my bi-annual "I'm a materialistic sinner" feelings. This time I decided that I needed to rid of some things (which Carly has really been pushing me to do for awhile).
Normally I like to get things weeded out and trimmed down, but with my clothes it is a different story. I feel like I need a lot of options and what if, for example, I were to buy a skirt later and I'd already gotten rid of a shirt that would have gone perfectly with it, just because I didn't have anything to go with it at the time?? These hypothetical outfits rule my emotions when it comes to getting rid of my clothes. Anyway, I was all worked up and having a hard time, but still making some serious headway through the Rubbermaid bins piled high in my room. I started a Goodwill pile and an Undecided pile. If I hadn't worn something in a long time, I tried it on. This proved to be even more upsetting...all the trying on and staring at yourself all day in the mirror.
Ultimately, the deciding factor became: tears welling up in my eyes while trying on an item = Goodwill pile.
At least 6 hours into this process of moving bins from the basement to the second floor, going through all of them, folding, hanging, trying on, crying, re-organizing closet, etc...I was proud of myself for moving the entire "Undecided" pile into the Goodwill pile with the exception of one pair of shoes I decided to keep (but I did buy them in London, even if they do look like grandma shoes).
I'm sure you will be truly amazed, and warranted in your judgment of me, when I tell you that my closet is still busting at the seams even after donating the following EIGHTY-ONE ITEMS to Goodwill:
1 apron
1 hat
1 dress
1 fleece pullover
1 dress coat
1 leather jacket
1 pair of shorts
1 pair of Grandma pajamas
2 skirts
3 pairs of jeans
3 fleece vests
5 sweaters
7 pairs of capris
8 pairs of slacks
8 pairs of shoes
37 shirts/blouses.
I hoped that after a good night's rest, the whole thing would pass and I would feel great that I had gotten rid of so much stuff. And I did!
And I hoped that Sunday being Fast Sunday would help me to feel a little thinner and better about myself after the disturbing hours of trying on clothes and staring at myself in the mirror on Saturday. And it did!
Well, at least until I didn't care about how I looked anymore when I was totally humiliated in Sunday School. It was 5:00p.m. (yes, I have church from 3-6) and my stomach growled SO LOUDLY that everyone within a 3 person/row radius turned around to look at me. People were laughing. Shoulders were shaking. But the worst was when a stranger across the aisle and a few rows forward turned back to look at me while tapping his ear and mouthed the words, "I heard that. WOW!"
Normally I like to get things weeded out and trimmed down, but with my clothes it is a different story. I feel like I need a lot of options and what if, for example, I were to buy a skirt later and I'd already gotten rid of a shirt that would have gone perfectly with it, just because I didn't have anything to go with it at the time?? These hypothetical outfits rule my emotions when it comes to getting rid of my clothes. Anyway, I was all worked up and having a hard time, but still making some serious headway through the Rubbermaid bins piled high in my room. I started a Goodwill pile and an Undecided pile. If I hadn't worn something in a long time, I tried it on. This proved to be even more upsetting...all the trying on and staring at yourself all day in the mirror.
Ultimately, the deciding factor became: tears welling up in my eyes while trying on an item = Goodwill pile.
At least 6 hours into this process of moving bins from the basement to the second floor, going through all of them, folding, hanging, trying on, crying, re-organizing closet, etc...I was proud of myself for moving the entire "Undecided" pile into the Goodwill pile with the exception of one pair of shoes I decided to keep (but I did buy them in London, even if they do look like grandma shoes).
I'm sure you will be truly amazed, and warranted in your judgment of me, when I tell you that my closet is still busting at the seams even after donating the following EIGHTY-ONE ITEMS to Goodwill:
1 apron
1 hat
1 dress
1 fleece pullover
1 dress coat
1 leather jacket
1 pair of shorts
1 pair of Grandma pajamas
2 skirts
3 pairs of jeans
3 fleece vests
5 sweaters
7 pairs of capris
8 pairs of slacks
8 pairs of shoes
37 shirts/blouses.
I hoped that after a good night's rest, the whole thing would pass and I would feel great that I had gotten rid of so much stuff. And I did!
And I hoped that Sunday being Fast Sunday would help me to feel a little thinner and better about myself after the disturbing hours of trying on clothes and staring at myself in the mirror on Saturday. And it did!
Well, at least until I didn't care about how I looked anymore when I was totally humiliated in Sunday School. It was 5:00p.m. (yes, I have church from 3-6) and my stomach growled SO LOUDLY that everyone within a 3 person/row radius turned around to look at me. People were laughing. Shoulders were shaking. But the worst was when a stranger across the aisle and a few rows forward turned back to look at me while tapping his ear and mouthed the words, "I heard that. WOW!"
Saturday, October 08, 2005
Shining, Gleaming, Streaming, Flaxen, Waxen
Roses are red
I love my new hairdo.
At my stylist's hair station,
Open beer bottles: 2
Roses are red
My grandma will flip
She only likes long hair
even though my new style is hip.
Roses are red
Need a saltine for your wine?
Check out this new blog
by a good boss of mine.
I love my new hairdo.
At my stylist's hair station,
Open beer bottles: 2
Roses are red
My grandma will flip
She only likes long hair
even though my new style is hip.
Roses are red
Need a saltine for your wine?
Check out this new blog
by a good boss of mine.
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Technology is Going to Make Me Fat
At 8 o'clock yesterday morning on instant message, Carly said of Ben & Jerry's Peanut Butter Cup Ice Cream, "I think this is the best ice cream I have ever had in my life." So I bought some on my lunch break even though (1) she said the same thing about Chunky Monkey the day before, (2) they were giving away free ice cream in our lobby during lunch and (3) I have consumed 14 brownies in the last 48 hours.
The other day as I was walking to the mailbox across the street, I overheard a conversation between 2 strangers. One woman said to the other, "I thought he would have at least said 'thank you' for the cookies." Suddenly I was so excited and thought "mmmmmmm....Cookies!" I walked straight past the mailbox and on down the street to the grocery store where I ended up buying chocolate donuts instead because I had just read about them on Kacy's blog.
Plant a seed in my mind and I can't resist! There's no telling how many times I have eaten something for lunch just because Neil mentioned it in passing in an instant message conversation and the thought/desire for it started brewing around in my head.
I'm going to try to work off all these calories playing basketball tonight. I haven't played in months because the only people who are going to the pick-up games now are the really good, competitive girls who played basketball in college. It is a lot of pressure. But Tuesday night, when confronted by the Stake Women's Athletic Director about where I've been, I found the following words flying out of my mouth with unbelievable conviction: "I'll be there this Thursday. I'm committing right here and now that I will be there." I don't know what I was thinking, obviously not about the punishment that will be mine tonight.
At least tonight is the start of the first of two 4-day weekends in a row I have coming up, even if it does have to start with a basketball game that I will probably be feeling for the remainder of that time. I'm off Monday for Columbus Day which hasn't always been the case. The first three years I worked here, we were not off but last year we had a trial run and I didn't have to work, but was on call. That will be funny only to those of you who know all about my job. This year we have the day off. Score. (Camelio, if you were here, we could go to the Native American Museum without worry of interruption. And I'm almost done with your homework. I'll be faxing it soon.)
Do you really think I should be doing Camelio's math homework while dating a professor? It doesn't seem right. I guess I've got some food for thought. mmmmmmmm....FOOD!
The other day as I was walking to the mailbox across the street, I overheard a conversation between 2 strangers. One woman said to the other, "I thought he would have at least said 'thank you' for the cookies." Suddenly I was so excited and thought "mmmmmmm....Cookies!" I walked straight past the mailbox and on down the street to the grocery store where I ended up buying chocolate donuts instead because I had just read about them on Kacy's blog.
Plant a seed in my mind and I can't resist! There's no telling how many times I have eaten something for lunch just because Neil mentioned it in passing in an instant message conversation and the thought/desire for it started brewing around in my head.
I'm going to try to work off all these calories playing basketball tonight. I haven't played in months because the only people who are going to the pick-up games now are the really good, competitive girls who played basketball in college. It is a lot of pressure. But Tuesday night, when confronted by the Stake Women's Athletic Director about where I've been, I found the following words flying out of my mouth with unbelievable conviction: "I'll be there this Thursday. I'm committing right here and now that I will be there." I don't know what I was thinking, obviously not about the punishment that will be mine tonight.
At least tonight is the start of the first of two 4-day weekends in a row I have coming up, even if it does have to start with a basketball game that I will probably be feeling for the remainder of that time. I'm off Monday for Columbus Day which hasn't always been the case. The first three years I worked here, we were not off but last year we had a trial run and I didn't have to work, but was on call. That will be funny only to those of you who know all about my job. This year we have the day off. Score. (Camelio, if you were here, we could go to the Native American Museum without worry of interruption. And I'm almost done with your homework. I'll be faxing it soon.)
Do you really think I should be doing Camelio's math homework while dating a professor? It doesn't seem right. I guess I've got some food for thought. mmmmmmmm....FOOD!
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