Wednesday, November 30, 2005

That's Mrs. Dibbleblotts to You

I'm just sayin' that on Friday, my 27th birthday, what began here and here went to a whole new level. Aaaahhhhhh (to be sung like heavenly choir).

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

A Few Kooks

My birthday cards from my grandmother and mom, respectively.


























My mom's tradition is to get a card with people or animals she can label as us. It just cracks me that she circled her stomach, too.

I met another kooky lady last week. I was at a luncheon for work where I was seated at the senior citizen table. A woman wearing an orange sweater, an orange jacket and a large orange crocheted hat approached me and said, "I wanted to give you a copy of the Constitution. Actually, it's a citizen's handbook. There is an error at the bottom of page 15. Would you please turn there?" So I did. But then instead of telling me what the mistake was, she asked me to find it. Luckily I happened to know that Patrick Henry's "Give me liberty or give me death" speech was in a church in Richmond and not in the House of Burgesses in Williamsburg.

Edith then went back to her side of the table where she said something I couldn't hear to her husband. He then said, "If you tell me to bring a teabag when I'm in the shower, I won't hear you." She then asked him, "If you didn't hear me, why are you looking in your pockets??" He just shook his head and said he didn't know. Edith then picked up her trunklike purse and started removing the contents and putting them on the table as we all ate and watched. After she had made a large pile which included a really big, gold belt and 3 pairs of eyeglasses, she declared, "Well, no teabags in here!"

And I talked to some real kooks last night who were camping out in the rain at Target for the new XBox today. And I thought I was crazy.

Monday, November 21, 2005

Just Pretend I'm a Celebrity

Then maybe you will be fascinated by what I would listen to.

After my eyes glazed over from reading so many different celebrities' playlists on iTunes, I decided to make my own. Now this isn't a "these are my all time favorite songs" playlist--far from it. That would be an impossible task. But here's what I would put on my playlist for today:

I Drove All Night – Cyndi Lauper
Thing Called Love – Bonnie Raitt
Green Eyes – Coldplay
Up All Night – Counting Crows
Good Morning Little Schoolgirl – Jonny Lang
I Just Wanted to See You So Bad – Lucinda Williams
How Can You Mend a Broken Heart? – Al Green
The Bitch is Back – Elton John
You Keep Me Hangin’ On – The Supremes
Heartbreaker – Dionne Warwick
Gypsy – Fleetwood Mac
Crazy Love – Van Morrison
Eleanor – Low Millions
Bang and Blame – R.E.M.
The Chemicals Between Us – Bush
The Loop – Morrissey
I’m So Happy I Can’t Stop Crying – Sting

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Name That Song

The Rules:

1. Please DO NOT guess in the comment section! E-mail me (see my profile page for my e-mail address).
2. Please do not look up the answer...I really send a prize, so be honest and fair.
3. Previous winners may still play.
4. Be the FIRST to e-mail me with the correct song title & artist and win.
Good Luck!

This month's lyric is:

To have you with me, I would swim the seven seas.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Who Are You Most Compatible With?

Check out this link to see your biorhythm charts. The best part is testing your compatibility with others, including celebrities. I'm glad I found out about this site because I might never have known I am 97% intellectually compatible with Ice-T.

And who knew that you could tell so much just from your birthday? I mean besides Dave the nutritionist whose prognosis and treatment of me was based solely on the time of my birth and birthday.

Speaking of birthdays, I got a birthday card from my grandmother last week. I thought it was a little odd that it was a card for a little girl with a cartoon mermaid on the front. And a mermaid with long blonde locks, no less! I knew it must be some sort of message to me about my hair which she is always talking about--how I need to keep it long or grow it out because it is my "crowning glory." But then as I started to read the poem inside I came across the line "and the mermaid wishes her special granddaughter a very happy birthday." I see I had misjudged. SHE is the mermaid, not me.

Anyway, a few days later when I thanked her, she asked if I liked the card and told me how she knew it was just the card for me when she saw it. And after all the talk about how much she loved the card, she said, "You know, if you haven't thrown it away yet, would you mind sending it back to me?" So even though my birthday is still 9 days away, I have already received and returned her birthday card. But she just might want to do a painting of her mermaid self. Who knows? She IS an artist.

Monday, November 14, 2005

Top 10 Reasons You Could Call Me a Chic Sophisticate

10. Recently I ate half of a stale donut that I had dropped, frosting-side down, on the floor of my office, all the while telling my co-workers I had thrown it away.

And that was only a few days after I:

9. Ate 2 brownies I had dropped on the street.

8. Once when I was a teenager and out to dinner with my family, the waiter brought a carafe of coke for our refills, which I thought I was supposed to drink out of.

7. Before I had a car, I spent a significant amount of time online researching where I could get some metro-accessible fried chicken.
7a. I have eaten chicken livers from KFC.

6. My work wardrobe frequently consists of items such as:





























5. Roxy asked if I remembered our "Gross Oreo Day"--we didn't shower and laid on the couches all day eating oreos. Of course I do. And actually, that's not the only time I have done that.

4. After cutting my own hair for over a year, I recently returned to the salon world. And to a really nice salon where I had to fill out a questionnaire as a new client. Although tempted to lie on it, I was honest and put down that the hair care products I use are made for livestock.




















3. Once I dropped my toothbrush in the toilet and used it anyway. Just kidding, I'm not THAT sophisticated.

2. Carly's son Holden mistook a blonde bikini-clad model on top of a jeep for me.

1. I have been ridiculed (and challenged to a bra-putting-on-speed contest) because apparently I don't put on my bra like a real woman.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

TVLand

From October 27th through November 6th, we had houseguests who were sick. So I wasn't really surprised when 2 days ago I started getting a sore throat. Around lunchtime when I started going downhill and feeling feverish, I headed home. After I had been on the couch for 30 minutes, my roommate walked in. She was sick, too. We took our places on our couches and turned on the TV. There really isn't a lot on TV these days and I figure when you are sick and on the couch for 1.5 days, you are willing to watch about anything...Sort of like how it is exciting to watch any video in school because it's not class. Case in point: Stand and Deliver.

Here's a list of what I have been doing for the last day and a half while at home:

Tuesday:
1:00pm: In America
3:00-5:00pm: nap
5:00pm: While You Were Out
6:00pm: Martha
7:30pm: Jeopardy!
8:00pm: Gilmore Girls
9:00pm: Commander-in-Chief
10:00pm: Whose Wedding is it Anyway? (where we watched an entire episode of planning a wedding that we never got to see because they called it off...why did they air this episode?)
11:00pm: Will and Grace
11:30pm: flipped between 2 episodes of Will and Grace on different channels
12:00pm: Will and Grace
12:30pm: Will and Grace

Wednesday (after being woken up by a call from the office at 12:15pm):

1:30pm: Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants
3:30pm: What Dreams May Come
5:45pm: nap
6:45pm: last 15 mins of Martha
7:00pm: Friends
7:30pm: Jeopardy!
8:00pm: Silence of the Lambs

Carly loves Martha because she is a go-getter. I hate her because she is rude. At least we love/hate her for different reasons. Here's what I got out of my Martha sick time:

After waiting 45 minutes to learn Martha's secret to making perfect rice that doesn't break or stick together...she told us to put the rice in a rice cooker and add water. Or if you just have to use the old fashioned way, then bring water to a boil, add rice & salt, cover. Thanks for the big secret, Martha.

Martha was rude to Joan Cusack and wouldn't let her talk. She talked over all her comments and told Joan that she obviously wasn't getting her kids involved in her cooking properly. She also made comments to her like, "Kids LOVE it when the chicken is a nice color like this" and "Just make sure your kid who is a picky eater is only allowed to eat squid in Sicily. He will LOVE it." What?

And Martha's advice to her studio audience:

When asked by a man who was about to purchase a horse whether she recommended a mare, a stallion or a gelding: "A mare or a stallion or a gelding would be great."

When asked what to do about cookies that kept burning on the bottom: "Turn the oven down."

When asked how to press fall leaves without them getting brittle: "Put them in a book."

She also laughed when a man said his kitchen had burned down. She simply explained that she laughs during tragedy...when her daughter broke her arm, she laughed. When someone else broke his leg, she laughed. she can't help it!

At least it was worth the fever to be able to catch up on all this useful information from Martha!

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

I'll Have to Say I Love You In a Song

I listen to music a lot and pretty much every song I know conjures up some sort of memory. Whether it's a person, an event, a movie, a certain time in my life or even just a previous time I heard that song, something comes to mind. In fact, there are some songs I like for purely sentimental reasons. Here are some songs that remind me of you.

K.D. Lang, Shadowland: Not only is this album GREAT, it also reminds me of the countless times I listened to it in the car or at the pool with my family. I still remember which songs were everyone's favorites. (Skewedview's: "Tears Don't Care Who Cries Them," Charlotte's: "I Wish I Didn't Love You So," Justine's: "Sugar Moon," and mine: "Too Busy Being Blue.") Also I used to dance every night when I lived with Carly to "Don't Let the Stars Get in Your Eyes" from this album.

Linda Rondstadt, Cry Like a Rainstorm: There is no way I would own or love this CD like I do without Skewedview's influence.

"The Edge of Seventeen" by Stevie Nicks: Chuckie

Sarah McLachlan and "Cherish" by Madonna: Cathy.

"The Macarena": This reminds me of my family high school graduation party and especially Patty doing the macarena in the driveway.

Mariah Carey's remake of "I'll Be There," Kelly Clarkson: Terri

"Hello, Goodbye" by the Beatles: Christmas shopping with the girls in the family and all singing our different parts in British accents.

"Stacy's Mom" by Fountains of Wayne: Wayne

All other Fountains of Wayne, Lucinda Williams, HEM, "The Promise" by When in Rome and Bruce Springsteen: Neil

"Brass in Pocket" by the Pretenders, U2, Bob Dylan, Garbage, Andrea Boccelli and NEK: Carly.

"Breakdown" by Tom Petty: Carly, Neil.

All R.E.M.: Kacy.

Belinda Carlisle, Steve Winwood, Van Morrison, and all Motown: my mom.

Perry Como: my grandpa.

Tina Turner, Lionel Ritchie: Schatze.

Bon Jovi, Joe: Camelio Estevez.

"Good Night, Elizabeth" by the Counting Crows and "9 to 5" by Dolly: Roxy. We listened to "9 to 5" on repeat until we knew all the words just before we had a pineapple explosion. zing!

John Mayer: Lizer

"3 A.M." by Matchbox 20 and "How Will I Know?" by Whitney Houston: my cousin Lee because a. he sort of looks like Rob Thomas and b. I used to force him to make up routines when we were little and Lee was the "he" in "How will I know if he really loves me?"

Deana Carter, Did I Shave My Legs for This?: my Freshmen roommates. We even wrote Deana some fanmail about this CD.

Any Britney Spears, "Stuck on You" by Lionel Ritchie. "Gone" and "Up Against the Wall" by 'NSync: Carrie. Disco ball. Disco ball. Disco ball.

Well, I'm sure there are more that will come to me later, but right now I think I'll settle into my workday with a little "Sister Golden Hair"-- which I will dedicate to myself.