Weekend Update

1. I always end up in huge conversations with other people waiting in the lobby, whenever I get the oil changed in my car. This doesn’t really happen to me in a lot of places, but ALWAYS at the Autostop. Everyone there is just so friendly. On Friday, I was having a lovely chat with a man and a woman about sharks and stiletto heels. The woman was black and I felt compelled to let her know I was reading Beloved by Toni Morrison, I’m not sure why. I pulled it out of my purse and she commented. Ding Ding. Just what I wanted.

2. Friday night I went to a Napoleon Dynamite party. There were people in costumes and we were served school lunch. On trays. Hot dogs, tater tots, green beans, peaches. There was a piñata. And we watched the movie. It was funny. They also passed around plates of tater tots and chips with melted cheese during the movie.

3. A friend thought the guy sitting in front of us was dressed up as Uncle Rico. But we found out he had never even seen the movie.

4. Did you know the lady that rides up to uncle Rico on her bike at the end is Kip’s wife in real life?

5. Did you know that my freshman year at BYU, Napoleon was a freshman too and would run around Helaman Halls with his twin brother and friend dressed in tights, speedos, t-shirts and goggles and squirt any couples with water guns? Then they would hand them a card that said, “You’ve been attacked by Fast Eddie and the Twins” and run off.

6. We got some candy from the piñata, which ended up in a sucker fight at my house after the party. As Emily drove away, Shotzy and I threw suckers at her car. She didn’t really leave but circled the block and parked and came back on foot. It was funny to see her head pop around the bushes at midnight as part of our candy war.

7. Two Saturdays this month I have ended up at the Bailey’s Crossroads DSW because I really need some black heels. I haven’t found any either time, but both times I have had to fight off my strong desire to go into CiCi’s Pizza and have the all-you-can-eat buffet for 3.99. The pizza is not even that good, but the smell starts to lure me in…but then I get too embarrassed to go in alone to the buffet.

8. Only after entering the 6th dressing room at TJMaxx (the number it took for me to find one where the door actually closed) and trying on a suit, did I realize I had already tried that exact suit on two weeks before and it didn’t look good then either.

9. I also tried on a dress that would only look good on someone the size of Kate Hudson or if I were looking for a Daisy Buchanan costume.

10. The friendly produce stocker at the grocery store was whistling the theme from The Andy Griffith Show, which for some reason, I know is called “The Fishin’ Hole.”

11. Commercials on the Sci-Fi channel, for the Sci-Fi Channel, are F-R-E-A-K-Y.

12. At the end of Relief Society yesterday, we were told to go into the gym because there was a surprise from the Elders Quorum. We went in and they had different Valentine’s cakes and were serving us. I thought it was so thoughtful and nice, except for the guy who came up to give me a piece shoved it at me and said, “Cake?” in a tone that showed he was annoyed. Anyway, I am grateful that the EQ in general made an effort to do something nice for us, even if I did get a bad delivery. It reminded me of a few years ago, when the EQ came into our classes and gave us each a rose. I was the last person on the end of the back row and when the man got to me he had 3 roses left: 2 bright, big beautiful ones and one small bud. He gave me the bud and walked away. Ahhh. Singles Wards.

13. What was that J.Lo-Marc Anthony broadway song/Spanish soap opera number on the Grammys?

14. Shotzy asked me what my level of attraction to Adam Levine of Maroon 5 was. I replied with an 8, but immediately apologized for it. I felt like I had to, because she has had boyfriend claim on him for awhile.

15. Today I am dressed like a Valentine Lollipop.