Emotions Run High on Veterans Day

HB and I have a long history together. This history consists solely of four years of me liking him from afar. That history comes to an end today, Veterans Day 2004, because he is moving far away. He will be gone but not forgotten. Just like some veterans.

Did we ever go on a date? no. But that does not mean I don't have any heartache on this day of remembrance.

I knew I liked HB when, 4 years ago, I went to a Superbowl Party at his apartment where there was a framed picture of Lavell Edwards on the mantle. Then he was passing out frozen treats from a huge Costco box for everyone. We were all digging in to what we thought was a delicious ice cream treat. When he finally took a bite of his and realized they weren't really that good, he got the box out of the trash and told us "Oh, I think I was supposed to cook these."

How could I not be smitten with this guy who was also the host of our ward Gong show, where he came on stage wearing the famous J-Lo "slit-down-to-there" dress. And then in the ward talent show, he did a Neil Diamond lip-sync.

A couple of weeks ago, after four years of liking him but not really having a lot of courage to try and flirt and or do anything about it, my roommate and I came up with a really great junior high type plan. That plan was that she would tell him I wanted to go out with him. Perfect! We were pumped and ready to go, but in a shocking turn of events, the very next day he posted his room up for rent on our ward list and said he was moving away. Talk about poor timing. Instead of just giving up on the plan, we decided to speed it up. Since we only had two weeks prior to his departure, Joanna replied to his email and said "Are you leaving??? You should ask [Marcy Dibbleblotts] out before you go. She has always wanted to go out with you."

His reply: "Yes, i'm moving yada yada...(new paragraph) Ask out Melissa, eh? No promises, but I'll see when I can work it into my schedule. I just say no promises because the next couple of weeks are going to be nightmarish." I re-read this every ten minutes for a few days. I realized this wasn't healthy so I deleted it, but luckily I read it enough to remember it verbatim for blogging purposes.

Well you can imagine this was not the response we were hoping for, but the whole point was to get it out in the open and be able to move on. A couple of weeks and few panic attacks later, it all came to an end.

Last Sunday, we were avoiding eye contact with each other like children do, but on the way to Sunday School we ended up walking right toward each other in the hall. My mind was racing and grasping at something brilliant and normal to say and when I got right up to him, all that came out was, "Oh! I thought you had already gone!" in a really high and nervous tone. I don't know why this is what I said as opposed to something like "Hey, how's it going?" The worst part is, he just kept walking as if I had said nothing. Then about 3 steps later, he stopped, did a weird outloud laugh and said "What?" I turned and there we were... finally face to face (but 10 feet apart), for the first time since the email. Nothing came to my mind and I stood there like a silent fool with too much makeup on and then he said, "Thursday. I'm leaving Thursday. You'll be rid of me soon enough." Then he abruptly turned and kept walking. This was almost as weird as the time he was nudging me and making horse noises by the clerk's office. And that was before he even knew I liked him.

Well, that's how it ended between me and HB. What a sad tale for a 29 and a 25-year-old who were MFEO, but couldn't find a way to act like adults.