Weird Things I Say

10. "Pavlov's dogs." This phrase was more prevalent in my college years. For some reason, I liked to relate things to a Pavlovian response almost daily. "That is just like Pavlov's dogs."
9. "Never Say That Again." You are probably thinking that this is not that weird of a thing to say, but I like to say it with a dramatic tone, and after something has been said only once. Roxy: "Did you hear that the grocery store stopped carrying Little Debbie Chocolate Cupcakes?" Me: "Never say that again."
8. "Carp." Camelio Estevez is the originator of this word, but it is making it's way around. It started as a consistent IM typo of the word crap but is now intentionally used..."What the carp are you still doing at work?" "Where the carp have you been?" I guess it is becoming widespread though because Carly told me her mom used it when they were in the car the other day.
7. "Blego." I made up this word as a combo of blog ego. "Gosh, his/her blego is really getting out of hand."
6. "You can do it, Shannon Miller." My sisters and I used to conduct Olympic Gymnastics on the lawn and my stepmom was our coach. She would say in a loud German (I don't know why German) accent just before all of our cartwheels, "You can do it, Shannon Miller." Now whenever I need to give words of encouragement, I usually follow it up with a Shannon Miller.
5. "Gag Me With A Pitchfork." If something makes me sick, this is what I say. I don't know why.
4. "How am I doin'?" This is to the cadence and tone of Joey Tribiani's "How You Doin'?" but is altered for situations such as trying on something cute in a dressing room.
4.a. "How's he doin'?" Again like Joey...but for such situations as passing a handsome man on the road, or Matthew McConaughey coming onscreen, etc...
3. "Tight as Dick's hatband." All I know about this saying is my grandfather, my mom and I all say it. It comes from a John Wayne movie and surprisingly fits into a lot more conversation than you would think. "I ate too much Thanksgiving dinner and now my pants are as tight as Dick's hatband."
2. "I'm a poet. I didn't know it, but my feet they surely show it. They're Longfellows." My mom said this dumb poem when I was a little girl. I can't stop myself from carrying on the tradition and say it, without thinking, anytime Longfellow is mentioned or I accidentally rhyme.
1. "That makes me not be able to swallow." I know there are more concise ways to express this sentiment, but this wording is really the only one I consider to capture the proper essence of my emotion. It is generally said while holding the throat and attempting to swallow (It is reserved for situations worse than those where I would use #5.) "That 200 pound tumor with hair and teeth inside is making me not be able to swallow."