I had birthday cake for breakfast. Today I will make my first ever green bean casserole from simplest recipe found online. Is Thanksgiving and can eat and watch movies and nap all I want without guilt. Today can try out Kacy's "doing" routine on stairs without anyone seeing me. Am charging cell phone because expecting many birthday calls today. Carly arrives two weeks from today. Enormous zit magically shrank over night. Can watch as much Seventh Heaven as want without ridicule. Has been raining, so no yardwork this weekend. Have loads of sweets to eat because friends feel bad must be alone on birthday. Have received 2 cakes, cookies and cheesecake bars. Love being alone on birthday to eat said sweets and be lazy and watch movies, etc.
Must go now to get on with day of guilty pleasures. Happy Thanksgiving.
Thursday, November 25, 2004
Monday, November 22, 2004
100 Things
1. I have never seen any of the Star Wars films.
2. My family's heroes are John Wayne, Thomas Jefferson and George Patton.
3. My nickname is Marcy for no reason at all.
4. I led my city basketball league in fouls in high school.
5. My mother tried to convince me to legally change my last name to Monroe so I could be like Marilyn.
6. I could probably recite The Parent Trap and Sabrina from memory.
7. When I was 4, I pushed my 2-year-old sister off of a 3-foot high wall onto the sidewalk. (She is fine.)
8. I love multiples of nine but my favorite is 27.
9. I have always thought I will get married when I am 26 because I declared that I would in a prophetic childhood moment.
10. I saw 10 Things I Hate About You 3 times in the theater.
11. Monkeys are my favorite animal.
12. I prefer Spearmint to Peppermint gum.
13. I buy a lot of beauty products solely based on packaging.
14. I would like 3-6 kids. This could change once I actually have ONE.
15. I prefer creamy soups.
16. My great aunt is a nun.
17. I have one sister (24), one step-sister (19), one half-sister (13) and one half-brother (4).
18. My brother is named Ethan after a John Wayne character in The Searchers.
19. I love to bowl.
19. I have never broken 100 in bowling.
20. My birthday is on Thanksgiving day this year.
21. When I get home from work at 6:30, I plop down on the couch for 30 minutes of relaxing, take a load off of my feet television. The problem is nothing is on at this hour. So I have embarassingly started watching Seventh Heaven reruns on abcfamily during that time.
22. I have 2 tapes of solid "Leave it to Beaver" episodes from a marathon on TVLand.
23. My roomates don't know I blog.
24. There is a great little dive around the corner from my house called Taso's. Joanna and I (the only non-Hispanic people ever in there) go so frequently that their one waitress (she doesn't speak English so the owner would have to come out to take our order) now comes out and just asks us if we want what we usually get. "Steak and cheese, no onions? and coke in a bottle?" Si.
25. I have never had a cavity.
26. Two weeks ago, I was intrigued and paid $4.99 for 4 Grapples. The label said "Looks like an apple tastes like a Grape." The label should say "Looks like an apple, tastes like Grape Soda."
27. My great-grandmother Josephine escaped from Lithuania.
28. I was home schooled for first grade and part of second. Went to public school for third. Went to Catholic school for fourth thru eighth. Back to public for high school.
29. I fell asleep during Shark Tale and Shrek. I thought they were v. funny but I have about a 45-minute attention span for cartoons.
30. I feel like my movie star counterparts are Liv Tyler and Kirsten Dunst.
31. I went to an allergist in elementary school. I was allergic to everything they tested me for.
32. I bought my first car last summer.
33. My favorite TV show is 24.
34. I had a t-shirt when I was 2 that said "I Shot J.R."
35. I hate pickles.
36. In 10th Grade, I begged my piano teacher and she let me play "Bridge Over Troubled Water" in our recital instead of something classical.
37. I'm the 1st first-born daughter in 6 generations on my mother's side NOT to have the middle name Ellen.
38. I have seen Britney Spears in concert.
39. In high school, I was a car hop at Sonic Drive-In.
40. We call our house the Limp Bizkit.
41. When I was 17, my boyfriend was leaving on a mission. I was so devastated that he would not be able to go to my prom that I had my own fancy prom in my living room before he left.
42. The summer of my senior year, I dated a guy two years younger than me. And because I skipped a grade, he was a freshman.
43. I lived in 7 houses/apts in the same city before I graduated from high school.
44. I majored in Geography in college.
45. President Bush smiled at me in the Rose Garden.
46. I prefer dark chocolate to milk chocolate.
47. I got an F in Honors Chemistry 111 at BYU my first semester of my Freshman year.
48. I want to name my first son Peter.
49. I used to give the fake name Lily to hostesses at restaurants. This backfired on me in the Cougareat once.
50. I make an effort to only buy Exxon gasoline.
51. I have found 3 dead squirrels and a dead bird in my back yard. I scoop them up with the shovel and carry them out and chuck them into the ravine across the street. Well, the first one I buried, but there are just too many to keep doing that.
52. I saw Signs alone. I went alone and I was the only one in the theater.
Scary.
53. I also saw The Others alone. I go alone to movies sometimes because I have Fridays off. I was sitting in the theater and no one else was in there. A man walked in and was coming toward me. I was getting nervous when he came and sat down right next to me in the empty theater. Just as I was about to stand up and walk out he turned to me, looked surprised, and said "You're not my wife!" Certainly not. He got up and moved and his wife came in a few minutes later.
54. My favorite pasta sauce is pesto. mmmmmmmmmmm
55. In high school I got caught by the janitor playing "Light My Fire" on the organ at church.
56. There was a cute guy I referred to as "lefty" in one of my Geography classes at BYU. One day, I struck up a conversation with him after class. We walked outside together talking and before the conversation was over I had invited him to go to SLC to the Aerosmith concert with me that night because Carly had mono. He did not go, nor did he ever make eye contact with me again. Three years later he turned up in my ward in DC. Still no eye contact.
57. For the past 2 weeks I have either had chocolate cake or brownies for breakfast.
58. Terms of endearment between my mom and me consist of derogatory terms like Ho or Hooker or Prostitute.
59. I really hate to run. A lot.
60. I really don't know if I can come up with 40 more things.
61. Once I got a really long, tight, unexpected and uncomfortable hug from my friend's father.
62. The only time I have ever fainted, I was home alone and woke up to my dog licking my face.
63. The guys I like always have a code name. This is v. different than a nickname. Some past examples are: M&M, fratello, manchild, lui (pronounced Louie), cool ranch and hambone.
64. Oprah bugs the crap out of me.
65. One of my favorite things about Counting Crows' songs is how Adam Duritz writes girls' names into a lot of them.
66. At a time before Britney went too far, my friend Carrie and I would take a song a day of hers and memorize it. Then we would quiz each other on the lyrics by one of us giving the first line then alternating lines back and forth until we finished the song. Britney is now dead to me.
67. Sometimes when friends ask me what a word means over instant message, I look it up really fast and then tell them, pretending I knew all along by saying something like, "I think it means something like this...."
68. About once a month, my roommates and I say we are going to have a small dinner party. We then agonize over a guest list and never have the party.
69. I always lose earrings. Right now I am down to one pair.
70. Approximately two nights a week, I wash my face with the hand soap in the bathroom, instead of my real facial cleansers.
71. My friend Camille and I shared a cd making business called EAR (Earth Angel Recordings). Okay so it wasn't a business. We just burned mixed cds for people with our logo and name on the back.
72. In high school I read a biography of James Dean. My mom was looking at it and was very upset that I had it because it had a V. bad picture in it. The thing is, had she not gotten so upset and pointed it out, I would not have known what the picture was or what was going on in it.
73. I learned about the birds and the bees from Redbook in my grandmother's bathroom.
74. 74 is the age of an adorable gentleman who is a consultant in our office who wears boat shoes and shorts and a shirt that says "Captain Smasharoo." He calls me babe.
75. Once I saw 3 different movies back to back in the theater.
76. I have an ongoing debate with myself about whether I would rather sleep with my bedroom door open or closed.
77. Two years ago, I sent an anonymous valentine to Hambone.
78. There is a huge bush next to my front porch where I stop and spit my gum out on the way into the house after work.
79. I own the video Darrin's Dance Grooves and learned 1/2 of the N'Sync "Bye Bye Bye" Dance.
80. Embarrassing moment: A girl at my ward Thanksgiving dinner last week yelled out to me, "I still need to return your Bellydancing video."
81. This morning I actually thought, "I need to warn Carly before she gets here that all my shoes are ugly."
82. I have a church program in my scriptures where I have all the Presidents of the United States in order written on them and I try to memorize them in order. I am no good at this.
83. Sometimes I get distracted watching the clock or the VCR counter, etc waiting for the numbers to be multiples of 9.
84. My instant message screen name is Catherine Zeta-Jones.
85. My favorite shows as a child were "Scarecrow and Mrs. King" and "Moonlighting."
86. I have never done a pull-up.
87. I really really wish I had some cheese puffs right now.
88. I yell out the answers to Jeopardy whether or not anyone is around.
89. The only time I have ever made mashed potatoes, I was taking them to a dinner at a rude girl's house who is a brilliant cook and makes her mashed potatoes with real cream instead of milk. I felt a lot of pressure and made mine with real cream also. However, I whipped an awful lot and that night at her dinner party we had a bowl of pudding-like mashed potatoes. Oddly enough, the rude brilliant cook was the only one who was nice about them.
90. To no avail, I have googled myself.
91. I can sing along to all the words of "Gangsta's Paradise."
92. I have no idea how much I weigh.
93. I have a computer monitor on my desk that is used solely as a gathering place for post-it notes.
94. My car's name is Rosario but goes by Ro-Ro.
95. 4 years ago in Montana, I was thrown from a horse, almost drowned in a river, and one of my closest friends was kissing the guy I liked all in the same day.
96. I used to be a member of the Weezer fan club.
97. I went to see Cher in Richmond on her Farewell Tour. The first Farewell Tour, that is.
98. I cut my own hair.
99. I have a picture of me with Rupert in the Hello Deli, and an even better one with "The Naked Cowboy."
100.Once a mannish UPS delivery woman winked at me.
2. My family's heroes are John Wayne, Thomas Jefferson and George Patton.
3. My nickname is Marcy for no reason at all.
4. I led my city basketball league in fouls in high school.
5. My mother tried to convince me to legally change my last name to Monroe so I could be like Marilyn.
6. I could probably recite The Parent Trap and Sabrina from memory.
7. When I was 4, I pushed my 2-year-old sister off of a 3-foot high wall onto the sidewalk. (She is fine.)
8. I love multiples of nine but my favorite is 27.
9. I have always thought I will get married when I am 26 because I declared that I would in a prophetic childhood moment.
10. I saw 10 Things I Hate About You 3 times in the theater.
11. Monkeys are my favorite animal.
12. I prefer Spearmint to Peppermint gum.
13. I buy a lot of beauty products solely based on packaging.
14. I would like 3-6 kids. This could change once I actually have ONE.
15. I prefer creamy soups.
16. My great aunt is a nun.
17. I have one sister (24), one step-sister (19), one half-sister (13) and one half-brother (4).
18. My brother is named Ethan after a John Wayne character in The Searchers.
19. I love to bowl.
19. I have never broken 100 in bowling.
20. My birthday is on Thanksgiving day this year.
21. When I get home from work at 6:30, I plop down on the couch for 30 minutes of relaxing, take a load off of my feet television. The problem is nothing is on at this hour. So I have embarassingly started watching Seventh Heaven reruns on abcfamily during that time.
22. I have 2 tapes of solid "Leave it to Beaver" episodes from a marathon on TVLand.
23. My roomates don't know I blog.
24. There is a great little dive around the corner from my house called Taso's. Joanna and I (the only non-Hispanic people ever in there) go so frequently that their one waitress (she doesn't speak English so the owner would have to come out to take our order) now comes out and just asks us if we want what we usually get. "Steak and cheese, no onions? and coke in a bottle?" Si.
25. I have never had a cavity.
26. Two weeks ago, I was intrigued and paid $4.99 for 4 Grapples. The label said "Looks like an apple tastes like a Grape." The label should say "Looks like an apple, tastes like Grape Soda."
27. My great-grandmother Josephine escaped from Lithuania.
28. I was home schooled for first grade and part of second. Went to public school for third. Went to Catholic school for fourth thru eighth. Back to public for high school.
29. I fell asleep during Shark Tale and Shrek. I thought they were v. funny but I have about a 45-minute attention span for cartoons.
30. I feel like my movie star counterparts are Liv Tyler and Kirsten Dunst.
31. I went to an allergist in elementary school. I was allergic to everything they tested me for.
32. I bought my first car last summer.
33. My favorite TV show is 24.
34. I had a t-shirt when I was 2 that said "I Shot J.R."
35. I hate pickles.
36. In 10th Grade, I begged my piano teacher and she let me play "Bridge Over Troubled Water" in our recital instead of something classical.
37. I'm the 1st first-born daughter in 6 generations on my mother's side NOT to have the middle name Ellen.
38. I have seen Britney Spears in concert.
39. In high school, I was a car hop at Sonic Drive-In.
40. We call our house the Limp Bizkit.
41. When I was 17, my boyfriend was leaving on a mission. I was so devastated that he would not be able to go to my prom that I had my own fancy prom in my living room before he left.
42. The summer of my senior year, I dated a guy two years younger than me. And because I skipped a grade, he was a freshman.
43. I lived in 7 houses/apts in the same city before I graduated from high school.
44. I majored in Geography in college.
45. President Bush smiled at me in the Rose Garden.
46. I prefer dark chocolate to milk chocolate.
47. I got an F in Honors Chemistry 111 at BYU my first semester of my Freshman year.
48. I want to name my first son Peter.
49. I used to give the fake name Lily to hostesses at restaurants. This backfired on me in the Cougareat once.
50. I make an effort to only buy Exxon gasoline.
51. I have found 3 dead squirrels and a dead bird in my back yard. I scoop them up with the shovel and carry them out and chuck them into the ravine across the street. Well, the first one I buried, but there are just too many to keep doing that.
52. I saw Signs alone. I went alone and I was the only one in the theater.
Scary.
53. I also saw The Others alone. I go alone to movies sometimes because I have Fridays off. I was sitting in the theater and no one else was in there. A man walked in and was coming toward me. I was getting nervous when he came and sat down right next to me in the empty theater. Just as I was about to stand up and walk out he turned to me, looked surprised, and said "You're not my wife!" Certainly not. He got up and moved and his wife came in a few minutes later.
54. My favorite pasta sauce is pesto. mmmmmmmmmmm
55. In high school I got caught by the janitor playing "Light My Fire" on the organ at church.
56. There was a cute guy I referred to as "lefty" in one of my Geography classes at BYU. One day, I struck up a conversation with him after class. We walked outside together talking and before the conversation was over I had invited him to go to SLC to the Aerosmith concert with me that night because Carly had mono. He did not go, nor did he ever make eye contact with me again. Three years later he turned up in my ward in DC. Still no eye contact.
57. For the past 2 weeks I have either had chocolate cake or brownies for breakfast.
58. Terms of endearment between my mom and me consist of derogatory terms like Ho or Hooker or Prostitute.
59. I really hate to run. A lot.
60. I really don't know if I can come up with 40 more things.
61. Once I got a really long, tight, unexpected and uncomfortable hug from my friend's father.
62. The only time I have ever fainted, I was home alone and woke up to my dog licking my face.
63. The guys I like always have a code name. This is v. different than a nickname. Some past examples are: M&M, fratello, manchild, lui (pronounced Louie), cool ranch and hambone.
64. Oprah bugs the crap out of me.
65. One of my favorite things about Counting Crows' songs is how Adam Duritz writes girls' names into a lot of them.
66. At a time before Britney went too far, my friend Carrie and I would take a song a day of hers and memorize it. Then we would quiz each other on the lyrics by one of us giving the first line then alternating lines back and forth until we finished the song. Britney is now dead to me.
67. Sometimes when friends ask me what a word means over instant message, I look it up really fast and then tell them, pretending I knew all along by saying something like, "I think it means something like this...."
68. About once a month, my roommates and I say we are going to have a small dinner party. We then agonize over a guest list and never have the party.
69. I always lose earrings. Right now I am down to one pair.
70. Approximately two nights a week, I wash my face with the hand soap in the bathroom, instead of my real facial cleansers.
71. My friend Camille and I shared a cd making business called EAR (Earth Angel Recordings). Okay so it wasn't a business. We just burned mixed cds for people with our logo and name on the back.
72. In high school I read a biography of James Dean. My mom was looking at it and was very upset that I had it because it had a V. bad picture in it. The thing is, had she not gotten so upset and pointed it out, I would not have known what the picture was or what was going on in it.
73. I learned about the birds and the bees from Redbook in my grandmother's bathroom.
74. 74 is the age of an adorable gentleman who is a consultant in our office who wears boat shoes and shorts and a shirt that says "Captain Smasharoo." He calls me babe.
75. Once I saw 3 different movies back to back in the theater.
76. I have an ongoing debate with myself about whether I would rather sleep with my bedroom door open or closed.
77. Two years ago, I sent an anonymous valentine to Hambone.
78. There is a huge bush next to my front porch where I stop and spit my gum out on the way into the house after work.
79. I own the video Darrin's Dance Grooves and learned 1/2 of the N'Sync "Bye Bye Bye" Dance.
80. Embarrassing moment: A girl at my ward Thanksgiving dinner last week yelled out to me, "I still need to return your Bellydancing video."
81. This morning I actually thought, "I need to warn Carly before she gets here that all my shoes are ugly."
82. I have a church program in my scriptures where I have all the Presidents of the United States in order written on them and I try to memorize them in order. I am no good at this.
83. Sometimes I get distracted watching the clock or the VCR counter, etc waiting for the numbers to be multiples of 9.
84. My instant message screen name is Catherine Zeta-Jones.
85. My favorite shows as a child were "Scarecrow and Mrs. King" and "Moonlighting."
86. I have never done a pull-up.
87. I really really wish I had some cheese puffs right now.
88. I yell out the answers to Jeopardy whether or not anyone is around.
89. The only time I have ever made mashed potatoes, I was taking them to a dinner at a rude girl's house who is a brilliant cook and makes her mashed potatoes with real cream instead of milk. I felt a lot of pressure and made mine with real cream also. However, I whipped an awful lot and that night at her dinner party we had a bowl of pudding-like mashed potatoes. Oddly enough, the rude brilliant cook was the only one who was nice about them.
90. To no avail, I have googled myself.
91. I can sing along to all the words of "Gangsta's Paradise."
92. I have no idea how much I weigh.
93. I have a computer monitor on my desk that is used solely as a gathering place for post-it notes.
94. My car's name is Rosario but goes by Ro-Ro.
95. 4 years ago in Montana, I was thrown from a horse, almost drowned in a river, and one of my closest friends was kissing the guy I liked all in the same day.
96. I used to be a member of the Weezer fan club.
97. I went to see Cher in Richmond on her Farewell Tour. The first Farewell Tour, that is.
98. I cut my own hair.
99. I have a picture of me with Rupert in the Hello Deli, and an even better one with "The Naked Cowboy."
100.Once a mannish UPS delivery woman winked at me.
Just Say No
There are some things I tell myself I will never do again. But in time, my convictions wane and I give in, only to disappoint myself. For example, regularly I have a yogurt in the morning at my desk. Then out of sheer laziness, I will throw the used yogurt container into the trash under my desk instead of walking to the trash can in the kitchen, even though every afternoon when my office smells like sour milk, I vow to give up my laziness the next day, in favor of my afternoon comfort.
I am also mad at myself everytime I order a soft taco at Taco Bell. I am definitely a crunchy taco girl. This only happens about once a year when I think, "I'll just get one of each, that sounds good." And then I am super mad at myself when I am eating the soft taco and wishing it were crunchy, especially because I have been making and breaking this rule of "no soft tacos" since I was 11 years old.
Not all of these disappointments have to do with food...although I could go on in that regard.
I also continually fall for "get something for nothing" scams, like emails that say "Win a $250 gift card for trying some free samples," which inevitably ends in me calling different companies to have charges and memberships removed from my credit card.
I also like to put my business cards in those fishbowls at restaurants that say "win a free lunch," or something of that nature. I'll be honest, if it weren't for these win a free lunch bowls, I would only need about 10 business cards a year for actual work purposes. Now that I've found out that these win a free lunch contests are actually ploys that other companies use to bring you a free lunch from that restaurant and have you eat while they try and sell you something, I don't know what I'm going to do with the remaining 1,324 business cards in my desk drawer.
I am also mad at myself everytime I order a soft taco at Taco Bell. I am definitely a crunchy taco girl. This only happens about once a year when I think, "I'll just get one of each, that sounds good." And then I am super mad at myself when I am eating the soft taco and wishing it were crunchy, especially because I have been making and breaking this rule of "no soft tacos" since I was 11 years old.
Not all of these disappointments have to do with food...although I could go on in that regard.
I also continually fall for "get something for nothing" scams, like emails that say "Win a $250 gift card for trying some free samples," which inevitably ends in me calling different companies to have charges and memberships removed from my credit card.
I also like to put my business cards in those fishbowls at restaurants that say "win a free lunch," or something of that nature. I'll be honest, if it weren't for these win a free lunch bowls, I would only need about 10 business cards a year for actual work purposes. Now that I've found out that these win a free lunch contests are actually ploys that other companies use to bring you a free lunch from that restaurant and have you eat while they try and sell you something, I don't know what I'm going to do with the remaining 1,324 business cards in my desk drawer.
Thursday, November 11, 2004
Emotions Run High on Veterans Day
HB and I have a long history together. This history consists solely of four years of me liking him from afar. That history comes to an end today, Veterans Day 2004, because he is moving far away. He will be gone but not forgotten. Just like some veterans.
Did we ever go on a date? no. But that does not mean I don't have any heartache on this day of remembrance.
I knew I liked HB when, 4 years ago, I went to a Superbowl Party at his apartment where there was a framed picture of Lavell Edwards on the mantle. Then he was passing out frozen treats from a huge Costco box for everyone. We were all digging in to what we thought was a delicious ice cream treat. When he finally took a bite of his and realized they weren't really that good, he got the box out of the trash and told us "Oh, I think I was supposed to cook these."
How could I not be smitten with this guy who was also the host of our ward Gong show, where he came on stage wearing the famous J-Lo "slit-down-to-there" dress. And then in the ward talent show, he did a Neil Diamond lip-sync.
A couple of weeks ago, after four years of liking him but not really having a lot of courage to try and flirt and or do anything about it, my roommate and I came up with a really great junior high type plan. That plan was that she would tell him I wanted to go out with him. Perfect! We were pumped and ready to go, but in a shocking turn of events, the very next day he posted his room up for rent on our ward list and said he was moving away. Talk about poor timing. Instead of just giving up on the plan, we decided to speed it up. Since we only had two weeks prior to his departure, Joanna replied to his email and said "Are you leaving??? You should ask [Marcy Dibbleblotts] out before you go. She has always wanted to go out with you."
His reply: "Yes, i'm moving yada yada...(new paragraph) Ask out Melissa, eh? No promises, but I'll see when I can work it into my schedule. I just say no promises because the next couple of weeks are going to be nightmarish." I re-read this every ten minutes for a few days. I realized this wasn't healthy so I deleted it, but luckily I read it enough to remember it verbatim for blogging purposes.
Well you can imagine this was not the response we were hoping for, but the whole point was to get it out in the open and be able to move on. A couple of weeks and few panic attacks later, it all came to an end.
Last Sunday, we were avoiding eye contact with each other like children do, but on the way to Sunday School we ended up walking right toward each other in the hall. My mind was racing and grasping at something brilliant and normal to say and when I got right up to him, all that came out was, "Oh! I thought you had already gone!" in a really high and nervous tone. I don't know why this is what I said as opposed to something like "Hey, how's it going?" The worst part is, he just kept walking as if I had said nothing. Then about 3 steps later, he stopped, did a weird outloud laugh and said "What?" I turned and there we were... finally face to face (but 10 feet apart), for the first time since the email. Nothing came to my mind and I stood there like a silent fool with too much makeup on and then he said, "Thursday. I'm leaving Thursday. You'll be rid of me soon enough." Then he abruptly turned and kept walking. This was almost as weird as the time he was nudging me and making horse noises by the clerk's office. And that was before he even knew I liked him.
Well, that's how it ended between me and HB. What a sad tale for a 29 and a 25-year-old who were MFEO, but couldn't find a way to act like adults.
Did we ever go on a date? no. But that does not mean I don't have any heartache on this day of remembrance.
I knew I liked HB when, 4 years ago, I went to a Superbowl Party at his apartment where there was a framed picture of Lavell Edwards on the mantle. Then he was passing out frozen treats from a huge Costco box for everyone. We were all digging in to what we thought was a delicious ice cream treat. When he finally took a bite of his and realized they weren't really that good, he got the box out of the trash and told us "Oh, I think I was supposed to cook these."
How could I not be smitten with this guy who was also the host of our ward Gong show, where he came on stage wearing the famous J-Lo "slit-down-to-there" dress. And then in the ward talent show, he did a Neil Diamond lip-sync.
A couple of weeks ago, after four years of liking him but not really having a lot of courage to try and flirt and or do anything about it, my roommate and I came up with a really great junior high type plan. That plan was that she would tell him I wanted to go out with him. Perfect! We were pumped and ready to go, but in a shocking turn of events, the very next day he posted his room up for rent on our ward list and said he was moving away. Talk about poor timing. Instead of just giving up on the plan, we decided to speed it up. Since we only had two weeks prior to his departure, Joanna replied to his email and said "Are you leaving??? You should ask [Marcy Dibbleblotts] out before you go. She has always wanted to go out with you."
His reply: "Yes, i'm moving yada yada...(new paragraph) Ask out Melissa, eh? No promises, but I'll see when I can work it into my schedule. I just say no promises because the next couple of weeks are going to be nightmarish." I re-read this every ten minutes for a few days. I realized this wasn't healthy so I deleted it, but luckily I read it enough to remember it verbatim for blogging purposes.
Well you can imagine this was not the response we were hoping for, but the whole point was to get it out in the open and be able to move on. A couple of weeks and few panic attacks later, it all came to an end.
Last Sunday, we were avoiding eye contact with each other like children do, but on the way to Sunday School we ended up walking right toward each other in the hall. My mind was racing and grasping at something brilliant and normal to say and when I got right up to him, all that came out was, "Oh! I thought you had already gone!" in a really high and nervous tone. I don't know why this is what I said as opposed to something like "Hey, how's it going?" The worst part is, he just kept walking as if I had said nothing. Then about 3 steps later, he stopped, did a weird outloud laugh and said "What?" I turned and there we were... finally face to face (but 10 feet apart), for the first time since the email. Nothing came to my mind and I stood there like a silent fool with too much makeup on and then he said, "Thursday. I'm leaving Thursday. You'll be rid of me soon enough." Then he abruptly turned and kept walking. This was almost as weird as the time he was nudging me and making horse noises by the clerk's office. And that was before he even knew I liked him.
Well, that's how it ended between me and HB. What a sad tale for a 29 and a 25-year-old who were MFEO, but couldn't find a way to act like adults.
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
Random Music Musings
Well, last night on the country music awards, my new heart throb Dierks Bentley sang my blog title song "How Am I Doin'?" He didn't look as cute as I normally think he is because he had a scruffy face. I have decided that I can go for a little 5 o'clock shadow but not too much facial hair. Also I don't really like any facial hair on peeps with really light hair. But I thought it was sort of cool that all the clothes he was wearing were sent to him by fans. Or maybe he is just cheap. I don't know. Maybe I will send him a razor.
Once my former stepdad said he wrote a song about me. This was back when I was in high school and then a few years later I heard the song on Sliding Doors. This does not make my former stepfather a famous musician but a plagiarizer and liar.
Don't you love it when a song goes perfectly in a movie? GOSH I LOVE IT. This happens in Wicker Park, a different movie and maybe not that great, but I really liked it nonetheless. In the end it has Coldplay's "The Scientist" and it couldn't fit any more perfectly. It is a great song on a great CD anyway, so you should check it out.
Once my former stepdad said he wrote a song about me. This was back when I was in high school and then a few years later I heard the song on Sliding Doors. This does not make my former stepfather a famous musician but a plagiarizer and liar.
Don't you love it when a song goes perfectly in a movie? GOSH I LOVE IT. This happens in Wicker Park, a different movie and maybe not that great, but I really liked it nonetheless. In the end it has Coldplay's "The Scientist" and it couldn't fit any more perfectly. It is a great song on a great CD anyway, so you should check it out.
Monday, November 08, 2004
Cletis and Cletis
Reminiscing about College...
This Top Ten list is dedicated to Carly...who taught me the beauty of top ten lists although I tend to forget that I should number them backwards.
Why Carly and I Were Destined to be Friends...(and other hilarious things we did)
1. "Don't Put All Your Eggs in One Basket: A Girl's Guide to College Dating." We co-authored this workbook and thought it would be a hit in the BYU bookstore. We made actual eggs and baskets to hang on our wall and included wise advice for distributing eggs with typical dating scenarios in the workbook. We started a small "egg" craze amongst our friends and at one point a guy in our ward said he wanted all our eggs. He didn't really know what he was asking for...but after that his code name became "Eggs for Brains."
2. We went to Wendy's about 3x a week really late at night often waiting til the clock struck midnight on Sunday, making it early Monday morning (We believed in living the letter, not the spirit, of the law). We loved their chicken nuggets for 99 cents. We called them CG's even though their real intials would be CN's.
3. The first time we ever talked was in the JKHB hall before Italian class where I told Carly I thought she was going to get kissed that night and she did. We have been friends ever since.
4. We both call each other Cletis, or Clete for short.
5. We went through a small phase where, instead of talking to each other, we could only sing everything to the tune of "Jeepers Creepers."
6. Once some "friends," in what they thought was a hilarious joke, ransacked our apartment. We THOUGHT it was the girls upstairs and so in the middle of the night we decided to toilet paper and tie cans to their cars. When we were done, we realized we should have used empty cans because we didn't want to damage their cars. So we stealthily sneaked back out to the driveway to fix the situation. Instead of untying the elaborate knots we had made, we just took out the can opener and let the contents of the cans plop onto the driveway.
7. Once I decided I wanted to make a giant pancake that filled the skillet and Carly came in and yelled out, "Cletis, NO!"
8. We bought some really ugly dresses at DI and signed formal contracts that we would each go on a date every week for the last summer of our senior year. If one of us did not go, she had to wear the ugly dress to church on Sunday. Somehow we never wore them, except on the night of the contract signing for picture taking purposes.
9. Italian class:
We made the funniest video ever for our 4th semester Italian class project. In it we dressed alike, were both named Gloria, acted out parts of "Laverne and Shirley" and "The Patty Duke Show" (all in Italian), did Dick Van Dyke kicks and interviewed actual restuarant owners in Provo who were from Italy. We interviewed them on camera with a toy fuschia and lime green "Muppets In Space" microphone that made weird space noises if you shook it that we got from a Wendy's Kid's Meal.
We also had to do a 3 person skit for a project in Italian. We wanted our group to include Adrian because I liked him but we knew Ada who sat next to him would ask him first. She was scary and so we came up with elaborate plans to get him in our group before Ada could. Luckily the teacher announced the project while Ada was on a bathroom break and when she came back she said she wouldn't do the project anyway and would take a 0. I would like to add that Adrian inserted a spontaneous hug between him and me in the skit.
We were both in love with all of our male Italian teachers.
We made a friend from Italian named Christian who started a "girls club" for us where we talked about guys. Months later, to our shock, she confessed she was 38. After class ended and just before Christian's wedding, she told us that our teacher Fabio (Carly and I both thought he was gay at one point, and both loved him at one point) had confessed his love for her. Luckily by that point, we both thought Fabio was crazy. A year after I graduated, I was up in NYC for New Years Eve staying with some friends of a friend and who walked in but Fabio! He was roommates with the friends of my friend and so I ended up staying there in his apt on the couch. Weird, small Mormon world.
10. We often buy "items of mystery" to boost our self-esteem.
This Top Ten list is dedicated to Carly...who taught me the beauty of top ten lists although I tend to forget that I should number them backwards.
Why Carly and I Were Destined to be Friends...(and other hilarious things we did)
1. "Don't Put All Your Eggs in One Basket: A Girl's Guide to College Dating." We co-authored this workbook and thought it would be a hit in the BYU bookstore. We made actual eggs and baskets to hang on our wall and included wise advice for distributing eggs with typical dating scenarios in the workbook. We started a small "egg" craze amongst our friends and at one point a guy in our ward said he wanted all our eggs. He didn't really know what he was asking for...but after that his code name became "Eggs for Brains."
2. We went to Wendy's about 3x a week really late at night often waiting til the clock struck midnight on Sunday, making it early Monday morning (We believed in living the letter, not the spirit, of the law). We loved their chicken nuggets for 99 cents. We called them CG's even though their real intials would be CN's.
3. The first time we ever talked was in the JKHB hall before Italian class where I told Carly I thought she was going to get kissed that night and she did. We have been friends ever since.
4. We both call each other Cletis, or Clete for short.
5. We went through a small phase where, instead of talking to each other, we could only sing everything to the tune of "Jeepers Creepers."
6. Once some "friends," in what they thought was a hilarious joke, ransacked our apartment. We THOUGHT it was the girls upstairs and so in the middle of the night we decided to toilet paper and tie cans to their cars. When we were done, we realized we should have used empty cans because we didn't want to damage their cars. So we stealthily sneaked back out to the driveway to fix the situation. Instead of untying the elaborate knots we had made, we just took out the can opener and let the contents of the cans plop onto the driveway.
7. Once I decided I wanted to make a giant pancake that filled the skillet and Carly came in and yelled out, "Cletis, NO!"
8. We bought some really ugly dresses at DI and signed formal contracts that we would each go on a date every week for the last summer of our senior year. If one of us did not go, she had to wear the ugly dress to church on Sunday. Somehow we never wore them, except on the night of the contract signing for picture taking purposes.
9. Italian class:
We made the funniest video ever for our 4th semester Italian class project. In it we dressed alike, were both named Gloria, acted out parts of "Laverne and Shirley" and "The Patty Duke Show" (all in Italian), did Dick Van Dyke kicks and interviewed actual restuarant owners in Provo who were from Italy. We interviewed them on camera with a toy fuschia and lime green "Muppets In Space" microphone that made weird space noises if you shook it that we got from a Wendy's Kid's Meal.
We also had to do a 3 person skit for a project in Italian. We wanted our group to include Adrian because I liked him but we knew Ada who sat next to him would ask him first. She was scary and so we came up with elaborate plans to get him in our group before Ada could. Luckily the teacher announced the project while Ada was on a bathroom break and when she came back she said she wouldn't do the project anyway and would take a 0. I would like to add that Adrian inserted a spontaneous hug between him and me in the skit.
We were both in love with all of our male Italian teachers.
We made a friend from Italian named Christian who started a "girls club" for us where we talked about guys. Months later, to our shock, she confessed she was 38. After class ended and just before Christian's wedding, she told us that our teacher Fabio (Carly and I both thought he was gay at one point, and both loved him at one point) had confessed his love for her. Luckily by that point, we both thought Fabio was crazy. A year after I graduated, I was up in NYC for New Years Eve staying with some friends of a friend and who walked in but Fabio! He was roommates with the friends of my friend and so I ended up staying there in his apt on the couch. Weird, small Mormon world.
10. We often buy "items of mystery" to boost our self-esteem.
Thursday, November 04, 2004
Gavin's Crisis
Okay, this entire time I have been thinking Gavin DeGraw was singing, "I'm surrounded by an energy crisis....everywhere I turn." I just found it's IDENTITY CRISIS.
Even though that makes much more sense and I thought it was weird that he said energy crisis, that is really the part that kept me listening. Now I think I don't really like that song anymore.
Even though that makes much more sense and I thought it was weird that he said energy crisis, that is really the part that kept me listening. Now I think I don't really like that song anymore.
My own top ten list
I am constantly being told I am irrational, here are 10 examples of why...
1. I feel hideous when I'm not tan. I think fair skin is beautiful on others, but it's MY splotchy skin on my facial features that I can't stand. I know it is irrational to feel good about my appearance in the summer and like a hag in the winter but I do. When people talk to me (September - May), I am often actually thinking "I feel so bad that he/she has to look at me." This could also be why I am a poor conversationalist.
2. I cry fairly often for no reason at all. Once while having dinner with my mom at O'Charley's, I started crying so hard that I had to spit out my chicken tenders because I couldn't swallow. She kept asking what was wrong and I really didn't know.
3. I think how fat or thin I look is directly proportionate to the type of shoes I am wearing.
4. Sometimes I can't sleep at night because I think the furnace is going to explode.
5. I constantly worry about the level of air in my tires.
6. On my first day of classes in college, I always chose my seat based on which direction the unflattering artificial light was going to hit me.
7. My practice of trying to stand alone at Institute (see Civility and Productivity).
8. I have actually spent time sitting at my desk imagining __________ and ________ (insert various handsome celebrities' names here) walking into my office together. They both love me and I must choose between them. This is a very important decision which requires a lot of time and deliberation.
9. When I wear a watch, I wear it on my right arm because a decade ago, my 15 year old boyfriend and I agreed that we both always would. Was there a reason why we wore our watches on our right arm? no. Do I think he still does? no. Do I think he even remembers our pact? no.
10. I feel like John Wayne is a part of my family.
1. I feel hideous when I'm not tan. I think fair skin is beautiful on others, but it's MY splotchy skin on my facial features that I can't stand. I know it is irrational to feel good about my appearance in the summer and like a hag in the winter but I do. When people talk to me (September - May), I am often actually thinking "I feel so bad that he/she has to look at me." This could also be why I am a poor conversationalist.
2. I cry fairly often for no reason at all. Once while having dinner with my mom at O'Charley's, I started crying so hard that I had to spit out my chicken tenders because I couldn't swallow. She kept asking what was wrong and I really didn't know.
3. I think how fat or thin I look is directly proportionate to the type of shoes I am wearing.
4. Sometimes I can't sleep at night because I think the furnace is going to explode.
5. I constantly worry about the level of air in my tires.
6. On my first day of classes in college, I always chose my seat based on which direction the unflattering artificial light was going to hit me.
7. My practice of trying to stand alone at Institute (see Civility and Productivity).
8. I have actually spent time sitting at my desk imagining __________ and ________ (insert various handsome celebrities' names here) walking into my office together. They both love me and I must choose between them. This is a very important decision which requires a lot of time and deliberation.
9. When I wear a watch, I wear it on my right arm because a decade ago, my 15 year old boyfriend and I agreed that we both always would. Was there a reason why we wore our watches on our right arm? no. Do I think he still does? no. Do I think he even remembers our pact? no.
10. I feel like John Wayne is a part of my family.
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
Election Day in D.C.
I was over an hour late to work this morning. It was not my fault though. The blame is on the hour and 45 minutes I stood in line to vote.
This afternoon I got in the elevator and noticed in my reflection in the elevator door that my "I voted in Arlington" sticker didn't look very good. I had it on the left side of my sweater just under the cute row of buttons that go from my neck down to the top of my left arm and it created a weird, unbalanced look and drew away from the cuteness of the buttons. So I moved the sticker to the right side. This was a bad idea. My sweater is a lambswool/angora blend and is pretty fuzzy. When I took the sticker off to move it, so much fuzz stuck to the back of it that it will not stay on very well now. So I have actually taped my "I voted" sticker on to the right side of my sweater. Maybe I'm a nerd, but I look much more symmetrical now and I can get a free taco for wearing it into California Tortilla, which I plan on doing after work today.
I "voted" in their burrito poll last week. During October for their "Burrito of the Month," they had 2 Presidential burritos, a Bush and a Kerry, and you could vote by ordering one or the other and they kept track of the results. And they put cute stickers of the candidate's face on the outside of your burrito. I thought this was a fun idea and went up last week to cast my vote. When I got there I found out the Bush burrito had mashed potatoes and BBQ sauce in it and the Kerry burrito had Boston Baked beans with caramelized onions and ketchup in it. Add those ingredients to some chicken, lettuce and salsa and wrap it up in a tortilla and you have yourself two really nasty burritos. The question is--who's the bigger idiot--the people who designed these burritos or me??? ...because I still got the burrito just for the fun of the poll and curbed my hunger by making myself sick on Halloween candy all afternoon.
(FYI: Kerry won the Burrito poll by about 100 votes. I think the results ended up being 1800 and something gross Kerry burritos to 1700 and something gross Bush burritos.)
This afternoon I got in the elevator and noticed in my reflection in the elevator door that my "I voted in Arlington" sticker didn't look very good. I had it on the left side of my sweater just under the cute row of buttons that go from my neck down to the top of my left arm and it created a weird, unbalanced look and drew away from the cuteness of the buttons. So I moved the sticker to the right side. This was a bad idea. My sweater is a lambswool/angora blend and is pretty fuzzy. When I took the sticker off to move it, so much fuzz stuck to the back of it that it will not stay on very well now. So I have actually taped my "I voted" sticker on to the right side of my sweater. Maybe I'm a nerd, but I look much more symmetrical now and I can get a free taco for wearing it into California Tortilla, which I plan on doing after work today.
I "voted" in their burrito poll last week. During October for their "Burrito of the Month," they had 2 Presidential burritos, a Bush and a Kerry, and you could vote by ordering one or the other and they kept track of the results. And they put cute stickers of the candidate's face on the outside of your burrito. I thought this was a fun idea and went up last week to cast my vote. When I got there I found out the Bush burrito had mashed potatoes and BBQ sauce in it and the Kerry burrito had Boston Baked beans with caramelized onions and ketchup in it. Add those ingredients to some chicken, lettuce and salsa and wrap it up in a tortilla and you have yourself two really nasty burritos. The question is--who's the bigger idiot--the people who designed these burritos or me??? ...because I still got the burrito just for the fun of the poll and curbed my hunger by making myself sick on Halloween candy all afternoon.
(FYI: Kerry won the Burrito poll by about 100 votes. I think the results ended up being 1800 and something gross Kerry burritos to 1700 and something gross Bush burritos.)
"Here's to all my sisters out there keepin' it country ...
Some great country songs I love right now:
Suds in the Bucket--Sara Evans
I Bought the Shoes--Dierks Bentley
Remember When--Alan Jackson
Watch the Wind Blow By--Tim McGraw
Better Man--Clint Black
Beer for My Horses--Toby Keith & Willie Nelson
You're My Better Half--Keith Urban
Okay these are just a few off the top of my head--songs I would listen to right now if I could. I wanted to include this post because I've been thinking lately about how I hated country for almost my whole life simply because I didn't think it was cool to like it. (Yes, this is true even though I grew up in Tennessee.)
I still LOVE all kinds of other music, but I am happy to have recently added the country genre to my tastes. I can say I have now listened to enough country to even start developing opinions about it---for example:
I don't like Terri Clark. That hat bugs me and I don't think it looks good on her. I also haven't heard a song by her I like...unless maybe there are some from my pre-country-listening days. (Why is Johnny Depp/Captain Jack Sparrow in her "Girls Lie Too" video?? This makes no sense and I hate this song.)
I don't like the lead singer's voice in the band Rascal Flatts (this does not mean I hate all RF songs).
I like George Strait less than I thought. (I still like him, but my attraction level has gone from an 8 to about a 4).
I like some Tim McGraw songs. I am more attracted to him than I used to be (2 to a 7), but he is more of a showy superstar than a real country singer...He knows how to pick a chart topper and is a good showman but not a lot of substance there. I could listen to "Watch the Wind Blow By" all day though (and I have).
The cheesiness of a lot of the lyrics doesn't bother me like I thought it would. I also really enjoy their story-lined videos.
Dierks Bentley (pronounced Durks; it's his mother's maiden name, which makes it better but not okay) is my new heart throb.
www.dierksbentley.com
Also, does it really make sense to become a NASCAR fan and be intolerant of country? I don't think so. So my new metamorphosis into a country girl has begun. If only I could get my thick Southern accent back. I'll work on that, ya'll.
Suds in the Bucket--Sara Evans
I Bought the Shoes--Dierks Bentley
Remember When--Alan Jackson
Watch the Wind Blow By--Tim McGraw
Better Man--Clint Black
Beer for My Horses--Toby Keith & Willie Nelson
You're My Better Half--Keith Urban
Okay these are just a few off the top of my head--songs I would listen to right now if I could. I wanted to include this post because I've been thinking lately about how I hated country for almost my whole life simply because I didn't think it was cool to like it. (Yes, this is true even though I grew up in Tennessee.)
I still LOVE all kinds of other music, but I am happy to have recently added the country genre to my tastes. I can say I have now listened to enough country to even start developing opinions about it---for example:
I don't like Terri Clark. That hat bugs me and I don't think it looks good on her. I also haven't heard a song by her I like...unless maybe there are some from my pre-country-listening days. (Why is Johnny Depp/Captain Jack Sparrow in her "Girls Lie Too" video?? This makes no sense and I hate this song.)
I don't like the lead singer's voice in the band Rascal Flatts (this does not mean I hate all RF songs).
I like George Strait less than I thought. (I still like him, but my attraction level has gone from an 8 to about a 4).
I like some Tim McGraw songs. I am more attracted to him than I used to be (2 to a 7), but he is more of a showy superstar than a real country singer...He knows how to pick a chart topper and is a good showman but not a lot of substance there. I could listen to "Watch the Wind Blow By" all day though (and I have).
The cheesiness of a lot of the lyrics doesn't bother me like I thought it would. I also really enjoy their story-lined videos.
Dierks Bentley (pronounced Durks; it's his mother's maiden name, which makes it better but not okay) is my new heart throb.
www.dierksbentley.com
Also, does it really make sense to become a NASCAR fan and be intolerant of country? I don't think so. So my new metamorphosis into a country girl has begun. If only I could get my thick Southern accent back. I'll work on that, ya'll.
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