Despite the fact that I have occasionally been called Sammy Davis, Jr. by Roxy, the Rat Pack member I adore is Dean Martin. This may explain why one Saturday night a couple of months ago I came extrememly close to ordering the entire series of "The Dean Martin Variety Show." Having thoroughly enjoyed an hour long informercial from 1:00-2:00am showing clips that made me laugh outloud, I hurried to the computer to log on and check it out. You see, I had learned the hard way back in college about ordering things over the phone.
I don't remember all the events leading up to my making a phonecall to order the video "Thin Thighs." But I do remember that I was not thwarted from my eagerness in ordering nor giving my credit card number to a woman on the other end of the phone who kept asking, "Thin what? You saw this on TV? And how much did you say the commercial said it was?" I'll just end that story by telling you that the "Thin Thighs" video I ordered ended up being TWO "Thin Thighs" videos, TWO "Tight Buns" videos, TWO "Rock Hard Abs" videos, as well as TWO bottles of vitamins sent monthly. All were later taken care of through my credit card claims department. Anyway, I blame the boyfriend I had when I was 16 who told the missionaries at church that I had big thighs (he later claimed this was a compliment) for this whole debacle anyway.
So there I was at 2:15am: Sitting at the computer and contemplating a membership wherein I would periodically receive 3 episodes of Dean Martin's variety show for something like $19.99 a month---probably for the rest of my life. Luckily I came to my senses, decided to sleep on it and never placed that order.
In conclusion, I will mention the strangest and most embarrassing thing I ever ordered online. Please take into consideration that I was 19 at the time, [apparently] uncouth, and what I did for fun were things like staying up all night playing Encore, feeding handicapped ducks and even burning feather boas in half. Okay that was KAREN CARPENTER burning MY feather boa...but what's done is done and I really harbor no hard feelings since we were able to tie it back together.
Anyway, somehow I came across a " remote-controlled machine" that made unpleasant sounds (and I'll leave it at that) on some sort of jokes/pranks website. I ordered it and we had a lot of laughs with it. I don't remember whose brilliant idea it was, but the next thing I knew, this machine was our makeshift doorbell. With the remote control glued to the outside of the doorframe just under the sign that said "Please Ring Bell," we were able to have a laugh riot anytime we had a visitor. Hmm, maybe not such a bad investment at all.
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Ah, Marcy. Who HASN'T almost ordered the Dean Martin Variety Show online? And I would like to take credit for the brilliant idea of making the remote controlled "machine" your doorbell. But I don't remember whose idea it was to put up the "please ring bell" sign.
Marcy, clearly you opened yourself up to some shameless marketing. You must never show your weakness again.
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