Thursday, June 02, 2005

Suddenly, I'm Not Half the Man I Used to Be

I was parked behind Schatze in the driveway yesterday so when I offered to drive her to McDonald's for the McFlurry she was craving, I didn't even bother to change out of my nightgown with an ice cream stain on the front.

And after we got home, I got in my bed and Schatze stood in the doorway to my room wearing her new Bono sunglasses and asking me questions like, "Would you rather kiss Little Richard or Richard Simmons?" She was also surprised that I would rather kiss Vin Diesel than LL Cool J. After all, it's true that the Ladies Love Cool James (but probably not as much as Schatze).

Yesterday, I seriously considered the fact that I have been taking advantage of the casual dress policy at work when, for once, I did dress up and my boss assumed I had a job interview. But that doesn't mean I'm not back in my capris today and just staring at the ringing phone saying "hmmmm" before I answer it.

17 comments:

Carly said...

ITL at this blog. I would totally rather kiss Vin, although LL wouldn't be so bad. I saw him at the airport, you know. And I think I'd have to go for Little Richard over Richard Simmons. That's a toughy, but Richard Simmons is too womanly to kiss.

kacy faulconer said...

It's really hard for me to choose between two evils. I guess Little Richard (but that's what I call Richard Simmons so I'm just being coy--tee hee!)

Would you rather kiss Rumsfield or Cheney? Woodward or Bernstein? (And by this I mean, of course, young Robert Redford or young Dustin Hoffman assuming, of course, they were both the same height)? Tee hee!

Melissa said...

Carly: I chose Little Richard as well, but it's not like he's manly. Have you seen the clip of Richard Simmons on "Who's Line Is It Anyway"? No one should pick him after that.

Kacy: It's hard for me to choose between 2 evils as well, but those are the rules of the game...you MUST choose. I would say Rummy over Cheney and Hoffman over Redford.

I did see the REAL Bob Woodward when I was in the audience at Political Celebrity Jeopardy. He seemed nice but was pretty dang slow on the buzzer. There was a question about "All the President's Men" and one about Deep Throat--neither of which he buzzed in fast enough to answer. I felt bad for him.

Melissa said...

Skewed View: You are good at this. you should play with Schatze b/c she gets impatient with me b/c I can't come up with comparisons fast enough for her.

Here are MY answers:
Pat Robertson
Paul Harvey
Brad Pitt
Mel Gibson (easy one)
Elmer Fudd (isn't spongebob gay) ;)
Spiderman
Jedi GWB please.

For the Dudes:

Jennifer Garner or Jennifer Aniston?
Camilla Parker Bowles or Janet Reno?
Sandra Bullock or Nicole Kidman?
Katie Holmes or Jessica Simpson?
Julianne Moore or Halle Berry?
Stevie Nicks or Debbie Harry?
Meryl Streep or Susan Sarandon?

Anonymous said...

Pat Roberson
Andy Rooney
Brad Pitt
Mel Gibson
Sponge Bob (as long as he's NOT gay)
Superman
Jedi Geo W Bush

Thanks for allowing me to play one of my all time favorite games.

Camelio E.

kacy faulconer said...

I am intrigued: Am I the only person who kinda LIKES Howard Stern? Mel Gibson is getting to wacky for me--that's a tough one. I would rather kiss Clinton than Bush (you gotta kiss how you vote) and I would totally kiss Johnny Depp over Brad Pitt--I don't like where the Pittster's been.

Spidey over Superman (the actual drawings), unless we are talking about Toby Maguire over pre-parapalegic Christopher Reeves--Then I'd have to go with Superman.

And, off the record: Jennifer G. Camilla, Sandra, Hallie, Katie, Debbie, and Susan. I figure Susan is the gateway kiss to Tim Robbins. Tee hee.

Eliza said...

Debbie Harry TOTALLY has staying power. She's the hottest.

Except that I guess now she's technically Deborah Harry. So maybe I'm wrong.

Debbie Gibson did the same thing--now she's Deborah Gibson. I wonder. What's so wrong with "Debbie"?

Carly said...

I have to weigh in here:
Johnny Depp (as am boycotting Pitt)
Mel Gibson
Elmer Fudd (Spongebob is too gross)
Superman
And Clinton (I imagine he's more experienced and I've always had a secret infatuation with THE DARK SIDE)

Kelly said...

Little Richard
LL Cool J (Have you SEEN the man without his shirt on?! Whoooee)
Johnny Depp (have loved him since 21 Jump Street)
Mel Gibson (does anyone else think Russell Crowe looks a little playdoughy?)
Elmer Fudd
Spiderman
Clinton (even though he's a pig, at least we could have an intelligent conversation)

Carly said...

Definitely John Kerry and (with MUCH reticence--but you have to choose)Jabba the Hutt. He's disgusting but the emperor is too evil to ever kiss.

Neil said...

In the For What It's Worth department, I'll take:

Garner over Aniston (JG's stock dropped dramatically when she hooked up with BA, but JA's looks have always been overrated)
Bowles over Reno (Please. I don't kiss men. On the lips, anyway.)
Nicole over Sandra (I've hated SB since Hope Floats)
Katie over Jessica (JS bugs. Big time.)
Julianne over Halle (Just something about JM that I likes.)
Debbie over Stevie (easy choice)
Susan over Meryl (Watch Bull Durham, then get back to me.)

Carly said...

Neil
Would you rather kiss the aged Debbie Harry or the aged Stevie Nix? Cause I think there's a big difference between a young "blondie" and a middle-aged "blondie" (see recent pic of Deb in white fishnets, ripped, stone-washed, ultra-short levi skirt, and eighties-esque spandex top. THEN get back to me).

Melissa said...

Skewedview: 98 Degrees, huh? Are you excited for the Dukes of Hazzard movie with Jessica? And Halle Berry? I had no idea. I am surprised you chose her over Julianne with your affinity for redheads.

Cletis: Superman really? This has actually been my favorite one, I don't know why. I just assumed everyone would choose Spiderman b/c I think he is cooler, but I guess not. (And I know what you mean about BP---I sort of hate him now myself but then I just think about Oceans 11 and I pick him again.)

Neil: You have good taste in women.
I'm glad someone finally chose Julianne Moore.

Carly said...

Well, Superman was probably one of the first men I was ever attracted to (Christopher Reeve, that is). Spiderman is definitely cooler, but Superman has been the handsome man in my subconsciousness for quite some time. Still waiting for Neil to get back to me on my question....

Neil said...

Carly: Hmmm....you make a good point. I'll take Young Debbie over Young Stevie, but Old Stevie wins out in the end. Thanks for helping me dodge that bullet!

Melissa said...

Carly: I'm surprised at how eager you are to have Neil diss Debbie. I mean, I have always thought you were a Debbie wannabe.

Carly said...

Marcy,
Yes. I am surprised at how much I wanted Neil to choose Stevie, as well. But if you haven't seen the recent pic of Debbie (see above description) then you wouldn't understand. I still love them both and would like to be both of them. (I would make better wardrobe choices).