Sunday, May 21, 2006

A Bald Streetwalker Swims In Our Pool

Okay, maybe she's not really a streetwalker, but she does wear a wig very similar to Julia Robert's in Pretty Woman. She also gets dressed right when she gets out of the pool, not at her apartment like the rest of us. Obviously, she probably doesn't live in our apartments and that's fine--Who am I to judge? I have been sneaking into pools for the past 5 years, but at least I tried to look like a resident by showing up and leaving in my swimsuit and cover-up. Not the bald streetwalker. She gets out of the pool, puts on her heels, walks over to her chair, gets her wig out of her bag, lays it out on the chair, takes off her swimsuit, and puts on a black bustier. She then stands there lacing it up while we all watch. After she gets the bustier on, she goes into the locker room and emerges 10 minutes later fully clothed and wigged with lots of makeup and big sunglasses on. It's weird!

It's also weird that the really, really old, hunched-over Chinese man whose balcony faces our front door is often standing outside poking a tree with a long stick.

It's nice to know that everyone here is not weird though. There are some kindred spirits. Like the girl Neil and I saw at In 'n' Out, who, after placing her order, walked over to Krispy Kreme, bought and stuffed an entire box of a dozen donuts in her purse, and then walked back over to In 'n' Out to pick up her burger order. I could probably be friends with her--especially since my legs are TOTALLY sore from bowling for one hour yesterday. I know. It's pathetic. I don't even deserve to fit into those pants under my bed. But at least after losing to Neil time and time again at every sport or game we've ever played, I finally beat him yesterday at air hockey.

6 comments:

kacy faulconer said...

I don't understand. Why does this lady partially dress by the pool? I mean, you see her nude by the pool? She takes off her suit? And then she goes into the locker room? Why doesn't she just change into the bustier in the locker room? If she's going into the locker room anyway. . . ?

Carly said...

Wow. AIR HOCKEY!!!!!

Neil said...

A point of clarification for those of you with inquiring minds: She wraps a towel around herself first, then changes out of her swimsuit underneath towel, right there at the side of the pool. It is so weird.

Air hockey rules, even though I suck at it.

Carly said...

If you wanna talk about those games that single people play in order to socialize (which are, in order of frequency played
1. volleyball
2.ping pong
3. air hockey
4. fooseball)
I would say air hockey is SO much better than any of the others. It RULES. Have you ever played Shufflepuck on the 'puter? It rules too.

Melissa said...

I don't know why, if she's going into the locker room anyway, she doesn't just dress completely in there either! There are so many questions. Neil saw her sleeping in her car in our guest parking at 2pm today.

Air Hockey is a game singles play to socialize? Hmm, I never knew. I always just played with my stepmom.

Eliza said...

I love this story. I'm also curious about the bald lady's motivation for her antics.